Later, I was looking for some tips online, getting back into lifting weights, about protein adequacy using a vegetarian diet, and I come across a Vegan Bodybuilding and Fitness Website, and one of the featured athletes was... tonya kay.
Still later, looking around Blogger bios for blogs that reference Robert Anton Wilson's book Prometheus Rising [one of my favorite authors and one of his best books]... there, once again... tonya kay. So I started reading her blog. The first entry I read I blogged about here, and it resonated in all the right "magickal" Robert Anton Wilson, Grant Morrison, crazy-stuff-that-fascinates-me ways.
Apparently needing to no longer be hit over the head by synchronicity, I spent a couple afternoons at work [yes, my job is awesome, thank you] reading through her blog archives. And I found some really insightful things there. Some of it was beyond me, and too poetical for me to grasp, but really fascinating insights there...
My favorites...
June 21, 2003
There is no reason to not be fully self expressed in every word, movement, action... moment. In every step you take there is a unique rhythm... Nothing can stop your flow. It is your only purpose in this life to listen to your instincts, an it harm none, manifest them.
Balance
July 23, 2003
Peaceful balance comes from sitting in the center and not moving too far either way.
Chaotic balance comes from visiting the extremes regularly, in constant motion, trusting in your inevitable return.
Do What'cha Like
July 17, 2003
I've got a theory---only do things that make you happy.
Life is a process after all. If it weren't then the only goal we can all ultimately strive for is Death. I believe---no, I know---there is part of me that will continue after this body has had enough. I know also that the only separation from the Other World and this, is the physical form I am blessed with for a mere one hundred years. The purpose of life is to experience that physical form to its fullest, living self-expressed in every moment, and hopefully discovering Love to be the epitome of that expression.
Don't worry about Death. It will come.
If you spend your time doing only things that bring you pleasure, or learning how to take pleasure from everything you do, then you will find yourself naturally on the right path, enjoying the process, doing only things that you like. It's as simple as that. Any deviation is counter to your true nature, a threat to full self-expression and a contradiction to the entire life experience.
The responsibility is yours. An it harm none....live!
Become Motion
December 2, 2003
Surely there is something to be learned from sitting still.
...Perhaps the reason I don’t watch television is not some enlightened response to a mediocre world, but actually the same reason I despise airplanes and the entire reason I work out four hours a day: I experience life through movement. Body and emotion become motion. For me, motionlessness feels like death. Certainly there is nothing more dreadful to the human species than boredom, breeding complacency, apathy – leaching life force, stealing breath. A vampire succubus physical boredom is to me. What gurus have learned from silence and peace, I have learned while bouncing off walls.
Only Important Question
May 23, 2004
We all have a story in our lives. There was a moment, usually in our youth, that the growth process halted. It may be difficult to recall the exact circumstance or situation of epiphany, but we wrote it down as a lesson in our book and every page sine then has been a continuation of that story.
Not Pretty Enough? Nobodies Favorite? In my case, Misunderstood. All just stories - a highly impressionable, sensitive young mind's reaction to a perceived situation. A reaction to a perception. How's that for subjective? Yet we accepted it as reality. And as adults, here we are trying to prove our stories wrong while simultaneously protecting them with all our might...
If you ever recognize a viscous pattern in your life, I bet the paradox of your story is behind it.
It is important to remember that our stories aren't good or bad, they are just what humans, the ultimate meaning makers, do. So forgive yourself right now for creating the story, then forgive yourself for thinking it's bad to have one, then praise yourself for being perfectly human.
And now, realizing the story a subjective system that you are capable of dissolving just as you were capable of creating, ask yourself the only important question left to ask: Is it serving me?
August 2004
What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves. Notice how that piece influences the puzzle.
We are as free as we believe ourselves worthy, able, allowed to be... These things we can not plan. And oh, how plans limit the possibility surrender offers. Five Year Life Goals, what?
Mapping the Mind
October 17, 2004
Cognitive reconditioning has transformed my life.
About a year ago, in the middle of crisis, I trained my brain - crisis always being the ideal time for such exploits. The confused, chaotic mind is a cinch to imprint - just ask psychotherapists, kidnappers and the government. In essence, I systematically brainwashed my own vulnerable mind.
Breaking down to break through.
So there I was one year ago, alone and confined to bed. Drifting in and out of that state yogis, magickians and infants know so well; where one's brain waves are a unique combination of REM Theta and Meditative Alpha; a place some call lucid dreaming, others hypnosis, but in my personal desperate state, the words comatose delirium seem a bit more apt. Whatever you call it, every time I found myself Lewis Clarking the wild frontiers of conscious hallucination, I repeated a short little phrase.
It literally was as simple as that.
And now a full year later, I am flabbergasted at how complete my self-brainwashing was. For every morning, when I glide through that same Alpha/Theta state naturally, like each and every one of us warm egg blurry eyed rousing from sleep do, there it is: my phrase - independent of conscious thought and so deeply imprinted that it has changed my reality at a subatomic level. I literally have become my phrase. It has changed the way my heart pumps blood, the way I hold my posture, and the way I perceive my surroundings by inserting itself unconsciously as the first thought each day; "I Love myself. I love my life".
Cognitive reconditioning; just another simple and effective technique for shaping one's reality according to one's Will.
The mind's entire purpose to make a map of your world, so you can navigate, communicate and function in life. If you don't make the imprints, society, authorities or television will. Whose phrases do you wake up to?
You're Gonna Die Anyway
December 13, 2004
We are all in a taxi going to the airport to catch a flight home. Our plane leaves in two hours, but the driver suddenly informs us that we are no closer than four hours away...
"You never know when there's gonna be no tomorrow. Your friends might disappear, your health might let you down...Makes you really appreciate today."
The profound and simple words of a 76 year old Michigan farmer.
A feisty 28 year old gypsy might state it more like this: All deadlines are subconscious death wishes. There is only one ending we can work toward for certain. They're called deadlines for a reason.
...We can keep pulling all niters, breathing shallowly, checking our watches and stressing all the way to the damn airport, if we like. Or we can sit back, roll down a window and take in the scenery. We’re all gonna miss our plane someday. How is your taxi ride gonna be in the meantime?
Evolutionaries
Hollywood, CA
February 15, 2006
Our mind's entire purpose is to make maps. To push pins in known areas and connect the dots. To sort and organize and categorize information using a living Dewey Decimal system that allows us ... to understand. Our mind was made to make connections, experienced or conceptual, so that we can map our world...
And because the mind's entire purpose is to make maps of it's world, ripping away these maps, questioning reality as we know it, expanding our ideas of what is possible, looks to the outside world like insanity. Yet who's to say that the homeless woman with no shoes on her feet is not playing with a bigger reality? Who's to say that the outlaw robbing trains is not developing our next larger financial paradigm? Who's to say the hermit poet isolated in poetry and insomnia is not also in playing with a world larger than what was previously intellectually acceptable?
In fact, with regards to humanity's mental evolution, I am convinced that madness is imperative. For only then do we stop building the current and advance to something larger. Should not the consciously coveted state of insanity not be fostered and praised then by the brave pioneers of not only human, but personal evolution?
It's the imprints one leaves while we don't know what how or where we are that determine the outcome of our growth.
Get sore, get depressed, go mad. Take us to the next level.
This Is Evolution
September 14, 2005
...Bipolar Disorder, this one could be summed up neuro chemically as follows: rocket serotonin (causing euphoric feelings) coupled with sky high dopamine (produces spiritual feelings). Oh, and then the gross lack of both in a few days and all the cyclical results inbetween.
...This is not an illness or disorder. This is not something to medicate.
This is Evolution.
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