7/24 - deadlifts, squats [light/deload] - PR/1RM attempts starting Sunday...
Given all the 'before & afters,' 'progress' and 'transformation' photos I've posted up on the blog over the last few years I kind of figured at some point I was obligated to post up one of my own eventually...
On the left, summer 1994, just before graduating USNA and heading into the USMC. On the right, this week. Back in the day, IIRC, about 175lbs and a 32" waist [I kind of remember my measurements from uniform fittings and the weight I checked in at Quantico] and now, on the right, 203/34. I've experimented with a bulk & cut over the last 10-12 months, and I'd hoped to have leaned out more before I posted this up, but it just didn't happen. I can blame 2 week Australia/New Zealand vacations, the ease with which Carl's Jr delivers in Bangkok or the ubiquity of delicious weekend brunch buffets and icy cold beers in this town... but the truth is that I just didn't exert the dietary discipline needed to meet the ambitious goals I had in my head. And with visitors coming in this weekend and travel and comradery [and gluttony & libation] heading to the forefront for the next month, bodycomp goals take a backseat.
You might think, "Eh, so what? Not much of a 'transformation.' Relatively in-shape college aged dude turns into relatively in-shape middle aged dude. No big deal."
If only that were true. It'd be nice to say that the two pics show a gradual progression of slowly putting on some muscle and mass over the course of 20 years.
Alack and alas, the last 3.5 years actually looked like this:
On the left, Sad Fattie is Sad. But I'm feeling much better now.
So how did I get from 'there' to 'there' to 'here'? After that college pic I stayed in pretty good shape for about 8-9 years, then got on the roller coaster of fatfuckery for about 4-5 years, got myself back into decent shape over the course of a couple years, then backslid into being a fattie until I finally had my 'Seriously, Get Your Shit Together/Come to Jesus' moment.
Since then, for the last 3.5 years, I've scratched and clawed and fought and busted my ass to get into shape and stay there. Taking exercise and training from something that I did, or was a hobby, and instead making it into an integral part of who I am. If I go a few days with no workout now, I feel 'off' and I'm a bundle of nervous tension until I can get a workout in. It's an addiction almost, but a good one that improves the quality of my life. It keeps me feeling sane and balanced. It's become mental as much as physical. Training was one of the few things to helped me to cope and get through the death of my Dad a few years ago...
Anyways, that twenty year long road, in more detail:
- After that first pic was taken, for about the next 8 years or so, I stayed in pretty good shape. Five years in the Marines, where a culture of physical fitness and excellence is the standard, it was easy. Throw into that mix a good lifting partner for a couple years [shout out to H.W. Wilson, wherever you are] and starting to train JKD/MMA, and I was never at risk of getting out of shape, always in pretty good condition.
- Then out of the military and to Japan for the next two where I had ready access to a basic gym + training in Daido Juku karate and a little submission wrestling/BJJ.
- Back to the USA & NC & DC. For about a year I maintained pretty well... and then that's when things start coming off the rails. For a wealth of reasons - nutritional, psychological, emotional - I started eating terribly and exercising hardly at all. So, of course, this happened:
Here you see a fat-fuck in his native environment. Notice, if you will, how it grows out the facial hair in an attempt to cover up the chin rolls. The baggy clothes, which fool absolutely no one. And, if you look closely enough, the self-loathing in the eyes.
The saddest part? That wasn't even as bad as I got. It took, give or take, another two years after this pic for me to even begin to get my shit together. [I think that pic is from around winter 2004.]
- Moved back to Japan in 2005. Tried to get back into MMA & Karate training, but of course: fat and out of shape. Which led to a litany of injuries. Which made training all the harder and infrequent. Which led to my all time "Peak Fat Fuck" - stats I remember to this day - 227lbs & a 41" waistline. Pathetic.
But, after about 2 years in Japan I started to slowly, slowly improve my diet and start exercising again. God, sooooo slowly. But I trained regularly - started P90X twice, didn't finish, but I was building momentum - and started eating relatively intelligently again. Got back under 200lbs and achieved reasonable, human-like proportions.
- And then, the big backslide. The six month lead up to leaving Japan in 2010 - oh, the farewell drinking and partying that was had - and the couple months it took to catch up w/my wife in West Africa, and the couple months to settle into Liberia, and suddenly it was Jan 1st, 2011 and I hadn't worked out or paid attention to my nutrition in damn near 6-8 months. The result? 224lbs and a 40" waist.
Lazy. Fat. Fuckery.
- This was the 'Come to Jesus' moment for me, to crib a saying from the goofily religious. I saw pics from an Xmas 2010 shindig I attended and... I knew I'd put on weight, but holy fuck, it was bad. Can't even find those pics in my photo archive because I'm fairly certain I've shame-deleted them. I hit that wall, that moment when you just have absolutely had enough and won't tolerate from yourself the behaviors that led you to wherever you are. When you start asking of yourself "Seriously? Is this who I want to be, how I want to look and feel and live and behave for the rest of my time on planet Earth? Really?" And it's not, you know it's not, because there is absolutely nothing about your life that is better when you're in shitty physical condition. Being in shape doesn't automatically make you smart, or emotionally stable or psychologically healthy *BUT* it does make you smarter, more stable and healthier than you'd be otherwise. The studies on biochemistry bear that out. And most importantly - for me - my personal experience bears that out. Your body is your vehicle for all of your experiences on this planet, you absolutely have to make it work, feel and look as well as you possibly can. You must absolutely decide to fucking do something about it. Get angry, harness that anger and no longer accept from yourself all the bullshit laziness, excuses and rationalizations that have been part and parcel of the you that got yourself to this point.
So here's the last 3.5 years, step by step:
January 2011 to Summer 2012:
Left to Right:
- Jan 2011, 224/40. Wildly Unacceptable Fat Fuckery.
- April 2011, 210/37. 3 months of random workouts. Just getting back in the groove with exercise. Mostly bodyweight exercises and dumbbell work, with the Bas Rutten MMA CDs for shadowboxing & conditioning. Started cleaning up my nutrition.
- July 2011, 194/34. Finally completed a full round of P90X.
- April 2012, 182/32. The lightest and leanest I've been since college. Even lighter than when I left the Marines. From Sep 2011 til April 2012 I did a combination of hypertrophic bodybuilding - high volume, light weight - plus bodyweight exercises, Bas Rutten MMA workouts and conditioning workouts 2-3x week with friends [PruFit!] And I really tightened up the nutrition. Indulgences/free/cheat days were limited to one day a week and it was pretty strict otherwise. There were trips and travel and the special occasion indulgences, but overall, I was really consistent, nutritionally.
Fall 2012 to Now:
Left to Right:
- Feb 2013, 190/33. Kept up the PT from April through the summer, left Liberia, transitioned back to the US, backslid just a little and then did a round of P90X+ from November to February.
- May 2013, 185/33. Completed a round of P90X2.
- Jan 2014, 215/35. Huge change in training protocols & nutrition. Moved to Thailand in June and for the first time since getting my act together had ready access to a barbell and a good amount of weight. So I wanted to see if I could put on some size and muscle mass. The base of my training became Wendler's 5/3/1 [with not a whole lot of conditioning.] And my nutritional protocol shifted from what it'd been the last 2.5 years - a low carb'ish/Primal [Paleo+dairy] template [with CKD&Free/Cheat/High Carb Day/s on the weekend + occasional IF] to, well, eating a lot. Of everything. Or as I called it, the "Eat All The Things and Drink All The Beers" diet. Which, I have to be honest, was fun as hell. And I got bigger, putting on weight and muscle mass. 20-30lbs in six months. Not all of it muscle, of course. A good chunk of fat. But I got stronger and was moving more weight in the gym almost every trip there. Which was cool. I get why guys eschew vanity for strongfat performance.
- Jul 2014, 203/34. So, bulking was fun. But, honestly, too much fat came with the muscle. Some vanity in that call, but I was also losing mobility, flexibility and seemed to be getting injured more often. [My guess to the cause of that is that the higher inflammatory diet played a fairly big role.] So I started dialing the nutrition back in. Low carb'ish Primal 5-6 days a week [too often it was 5, not 6] and adding in conditioning work again. 5/3/1 is still the base of training, but I did a round of P90X3 (Mass Schedule) in there as accessory/conditioning work as well, and did a little bit of occasional running stairs and the treadmill. And I keep working and trying to get rid of some elbow tendonitis I picked up [that has, over the course of the last year, healed in one elbow and started up in the other... madness!] so that I can try to get in some shadowboxing and heavy bag work.
So, that's where I'm at now. Visitors from this coming weekend, for about a month, including some fantastic training partners, so during the visit/vacation we're gonna take a run at some PRs and 1RMs and keep the training up regularly. But the diet will be, how shall we say... indulgent. [Yay Beer!]
Come Sept when they're out the door I'm still thinking 5/3/1 as the foundation but less volume on the weights and working in more bodyweight work. More conditioning. More flexibility and mobility work. The bulk was fun, but at age 41, unless I get the hookup from Vinny at PlanetMuscle or they make TRT available OTC, I'm never gonna be hoooooooge. But I'm good with that, actually. I've always gravitated a lot more, aesthetically speaking, to the Stallone/Rocky/Rambo physique than the Arnold/Conan one.
So Sep to Dec I'm going to try and lean out as much as I can, tighten up the nutritional intake, maintain/increase my strength gains and get rid of some of the nagging injuries I've built up over the last year, year and a half. That way I can take advantage of living in Thailand and hit up some Muay Thai/MMA gyms while I'm lucky enough to live here. And I'll try to keep up with these progress posts & pics, let's say, every six months or so.
Anyways, posting on the blog is going to be more intermittent over the next few weeks. Visitors and travel and the hazards of having a real life. See ya as time permits. Onwards.
You know, I particularly like how my back has come along...
Deadlifts, pullups, chins and rows... yep.
"It is always about you and your body. It's how you see yourself, and as a result, how you see the rest of the world. The body dictates everything. It's where it all starts. What you can make it do. What you can make it endure. How quick you can be. How precise. How quiet, and strong, and flexible and still... It is at the heart of eveything you do, and you must be able to trust it absolutely..."
- from "Critical Space" by Greg Rucka
