Saturday, June 16, 2007

Now THAT is how you shake someone's hand.

Couple of very cool vids.

POUND (a short film by Evan Bernard)


DJ Mehdi (feat Chromeo) - 'I Am Somebody'

I'm such a geek.

Totally don't care. This new costume rocks.



Image via Entertainment Weekly.

Yes, we will look at your ass.



It's what you could call one of the great truths. Funny article. More, as always, at the link.

Testosterone Nation - ATOMIC DOG: Rebutting the Atomic Kitten:
"So the Atomic Kitten — my literary counterpart over on the Muscle With Attitude site — doesn't like it when we stare at her ass while she's working out...

Let's begin by stripping away the artifice of human sexuality. All of it. For starters, no one ever admits this but lipstick-covered lips are meant to make men think of a friendly hoo-hah. Exposed cleavage means, "Your offspring would never go hungry for I could suckle the very earth!"

And what is wearing brightly colored (labia pink?) molecule-thick curve-hugging spandex but a subconscious attempt to mimic the estrus cycle of your primate ancestors?

So if a female wearing lipstick, showing cleavage, and sashaying a "hello sailor" ass starts to do deep, deep, straight-leg deadlifts while wearing colorful Spandex, forgive us if our reptilian brain takes over and our eyeballs drill holes into her posterior. Most of us will try to catch a bank-shot stare off one or more mirrors, but if we didn't pass geometry, we're going to buy some popcorn and some suds and jockey for a front seat."

How amazingly sad.



More casualties of the "safety at any cost" culture.

Boing Boing: Map shows how kids aren't allowed to roam around:
"The Daily Mail has an article about how kids have been restricted from roaming far from their houses when they play or go to school, and why this is bad for their mental health. It includes a map that shows how, over four generations, the roaming range afforded to kids has shrunk to the size a a backyard.

... The report's author, Dr William Bird, the health adviser to Natural England and the organiser of a conference on nature and health on Monday, believes children's long-term mental health is at risk."

Geek sense... tingling.



If this movie comes off, it will be awesome. Cusack would be tailor made for the mid-life crisis having, rediscovering his passions Dan Dreiberg.

ComicMix.Com:
"According to MTV's movie site, John Cusack of the famous Chicago Cusacks acting horde, wants to be a Watchman. And he's told director Zack Snyder all about it.

John wants to play Dan Dreiberg, a.k.a. Nite Owl II, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons's tribute (so to speak) to the Blue Beetle."

Images via Wikipedia, here and here.

"Rich Franklin is a dumbfuck"


You know, it's harder to cheer for guys when, well... this. Sigh.

Fightlinker » Blog Archive » Rich Franklin is a dumbfuck:
"I was praying this wasn’t true when I heard about it on the web, but a little research proved it was so: Rich Franklin believes in creationism. Rich Franklin, who was a fucking teacher. Rich Franklin, who the UFC drags out every time they want to prove fighters are smart. MMA’s representative of Smarts believes in Creationism."


Bloody Elbow :: Quote of the Day:
"'Saturday I had the opportunity to attend the ribbon cutting ceremony for the Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky. The museum explains the history of the earth from a biblical point of view, including an in-depth scientific analysis of the flood recorded in Genesis. The exhibits are top notch, some containing animatronic dinosaurs designed by people with resumes including Universal Studios. I am sure the pictures will not do any of this justice, but I hope you enjoy.' -- Rich Franklin"

Unfuckingbelievable. TSA confiscates clown's makeup.

Safe now, right? Jesus.


Boing Boing: TSA confiscates clown's makeup: I feel safer!:
"Let's all take a moment to bow our heads in gratitude to the brave TSA agents who saved many lives by confiscating a professional clown's makeup

Ex-Ringling clown and blogger Pat Cashin writes about how the TSA personnel at O'Hare confiscated his clown makeup this week. He takes it along in his carry-on (and has for 5 years without a promblem) because basically if your makeup and costume gets lost by the airline, you're screwed."

Friday, June 15, 2007

How the mighty have fallen... Royce Gracie pops for steroids.



MMA WEEKLY - Your #1 Source for Daily MMA News, Interviews, Multimedia, and More:
"Today, the CSAC released further test results revealing that Royce Gracie has tested positive for the anabolic steroid Nandrolone Metabolite. Gracie defeated Kazushi Sakuraba by unanimous decision at the K-1 Dynamite show on June 2nd in Los Angeles, California.

Gracie has been suspended for approximately 12 months from the date of the fight (through May 30, 2008). He has also been fined $2,500, which is currently the maximum penalty allowable in California and which represents approximately 0.8 percent of Gracie's $300,000 purse. Gracie has 30 days to appeal his suspension and seek a disciplinary hearing if he so chooses."

The Joe Rogan defense of Paris Hilton.



Hell, somebody had to.

Rogan brings wisdom.

The Joe Rogan Blog » Conduit to the Gaian Mind » In defense of Paris Hilton
I’ve only been upset at Paris Hilton once in my life, and it was pretty brief.

I was watching her little home porno video, and right in the middle of giving this young man a blowjob she actually stopped to answer her cell phone.

How RUDE!

I got over it though, and I’ve never had a problem with her since. Hey, it wasn’t me she was being rude to, so what the fuck do I care?

...What’s the deal?

I understand that seeing her everywhere can be annoying, and that she’s got no discernable talent, and all that good shit… but I really don’t understand all the hate.

The day she got out of jail a friend of mine who is normally very rational and intelligent was actually angry. Really fucking pissed.

“Why the fuck should she get out of jail early? She gets home confinement in her fucking mansion? I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit!”

Meanwhile, across the world horrific drama goes on every minute of the day and gets relatively little attention. Bombs drop, and IED’s explode, people die…

Cool, fun loving people that will be sorely missed by their loved ones vanish from the earth every day, but on the news it’s marginalized to a number.

“13 US soldiers lost their lives in battle this weekend, making this one of the deadliest months on record.” Reduced to a number. A 1 in 13. A part of Monday’s update on the weekend’s action for those that went fishing and want to keep up on the count.

But Paris Hilton is BREAKING fucking news.

...This is what we care about most while we’re in the middle of this crazy modern day holy war?

I’ve actually heard a conservative talk show host say that if the media concentrated on each and every death and went into detail about it people would lose their taste for the war. He went on to say that the American people, especially the young just don’t understand the sacrifice it takes to keep this great land free.

Speaking of freedom… justice has been served, and it’s back to the slammer for Paris Hilton!

What… the… fuck.

They make fun of this young girl that they don’t even know with glee in their voice.
It’s the ultimate opportunity for people to be a hater. Everyone’s hating, come on in and join the fun!

...“She makes me sick because she’s a fucking attention whore, and she’s talentless.” Isn’t being that itself punishment alone? Why do you think that you keep hearing about these nutty Hollywood kids having breakdowns, and going to rehab?

It’s certainly not because they’re super duper happy. That existence itself is probably punishment alone.

The emptiness of it all, the hole that can never be filled… just living life day after day struggling to stay on the top of a big fucked up, fake mountain.
It probably does suck, but most importantly, why does it bother YOU?

I just really don’t understand it.

...Is it just that some people need to get angry at something, and that she’s just an easy mark? That sort of makes sense.

Maybe instead of encouraging people to be less angry, which certainly has never worked before, maybe we should just help focus all their anger and help them to choose some more worthy targets?

You have a need to be pissed off? You wanna really get outraged? How about this crazy bitch that shot her fucking preacher husband in the back in his sleep with a shotgun, and only got sentenced to 210 days in the pokey.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/06/08/winkler.sentence.ap/index.html

She’s already been locked up for 5 months, so they’re saying that she may only get 60 more days in a mental hospital because of time served.

Well, that should be just about enough to cure her, right? I mean, she only shot her fucking husband in the back with a shotgun while he was sleeping. No biggie.
60 days should be plenty to cure her of that.

She said in her defense that her husband was abusive, and that he pressured her to wear a wig and large platform shoes during sex.

Well, good thing she shot him in his sleep! That motherfucker was getting out of hand!

A wig AND platform heels? Who the fuck does he think he is, David Lee Roth?

Haliburton was in the news for overcharging taxpayers something like 90 billion dollars and no one bats an eye. My same friend that freaked out about Paris Hilton heard about it on the news and didn’t even react.

The whistle blower in the Enron scam shot himself in the head, TWICE in what was ruled a “suicide,” and no one flinches.

...Every day sons, brothers, and friends come home dead in boxes from a fucked up war in a foreign land, and the only people that freak out are the ones that know them.
It’s gotten so bad that the media are actually forbidden from taking pictures of the flag draped coffins as they’re being shipped stateside, but the cameras never stop taking pictures of the crying little rich girl in the back of the police car.

And please, don’t get me wrong… I’m not immune to the fascination. I watch it like all the other little monkeys...

Hilton photo via.

Kamikaze.


Kamikaze, terrorist, patriot, soldier… all different? All the same?

The expression “young men who tragically sacrificed their lives in the believe that their actions might protect” [their country/nation/way of life] is the definition of every young man killed in war since the concept of us vs them began.

Heroes or villians, terrorists or freedom fighters… it all just depends on who’s telling the story. Those who sacrifice for your own country, or faith, or cause… well, heroes, surely. The other guys? They’re just evil. Or insane. Everyone knows that.

New Kamikaze Documentary & Kamikaze Pilots Vs. Terrorists » Japan Probe
The Japanese media has been covering the upcoming release of “Wings of Defeat,” a documentary by Americans Risa Morimoto and Linda Hoaglund that explores the history of Kamikaze pilots

Her research into creating this film truly changed the definition of the word “kamikaze” in her mind. The Japanese anchor in the above mentions how the use of the phrase “kamikaze attack” after 9/11 has made many Americans equate the kamikaze pilots as terrorists. Perhaps this documentary can convince those that watch it that the pilots were actually young men who tragically sacrificed their lives in the believe that their actions might protect Japan, rather than fanatical terrorists?

Image via Wings of Defeat homepage, here.

N*gger Wetb*ck Ch*nk.

From the clips available on YouTube, this looks funny and smart as hell.

Northwest Asian Weekly:Trio gives personal, funny look at racism:
"“N*gger Wetb*ck Ch*nk,” or N*W*C* for short, is not the sort of title for a theater production that goes without notice, much less controversy, in these times of political correctness.

So offensive are these words, many people refuse to see the show based on its title alone – James Bible, president of the Seattle King County chapter of the NAACP, for one.

N*W*C* is a play supporting diversity, one intelligently crafted to use “shocking revelations.” not anger, to “de-power” some of the most derogatory words in the English language. Off-stage, its actors lead educational workshops on race at several local schools.

N*W*C* is the winner of the 2003 award for “Best Play” from the American Readers Theater Association and returned on May 9 to the Kirkland Performance Center after its last successful run in 2006.

...Their main message – one that deserves repeating in all forms of entertainment – is “There’s only one race: the human race.” In the process of presenting stereotypes and racist jokes, this message is made clear at the beginning of the play and is repeated. Gregley is in complete pimp attire, a full-length coat and hat with a large white feather on top. Augustin wears a white sleeveless T-shirt and a bandana wrapped around his head. Axibal dons an Asian-print, light blue silk shirt and black silk pants..."






Thursday, June 14, 2007

Great ideas about the future of American defense structure and policy.

As intelligent a breakdown of Defense policy that I've heard in some time. The bits about the Marine Corps made me smile, deep in my cold, dead heart. Funny, and smart.

"Strategic planner Thomas P.M. Barnett has advised US leaders on national security since the end of the Cold War. In this bracingly honest -- and very funny -- talk, Barnett outlines a solution for the foundering US military: Break it in two. One half makes war, and the other half builds the peace that follows. Spontaneous applause and a standing ovation underscore what Barnett said on his blog: 'Probably the best 20 minutes of speaking I have ever done.'"

Secret Asian Man by Tak Toyoshima

















Just recently picked up for syndication by United Features. How cool is that? [If these are not funny to you, you are dead inside.]

Secret Asian Man by Tak Toyoshima

All art and text © Tak Toyoshima. Secret Asian Man © 2007 Tak Toyoshima

“Only a bitter little adolescent boy could confuse realism with pessimism.”



Flex Mentallo is awesomeness. More comic book-y/Grant Morrison greatness.

Some quotes:
"“They talk to you all the time when you’re little. They live in … I don’t know … it’s like a factory where ideas are made. They escaped from ‘the Absolute’ but the plan went wrong. Reality was flawed from the beginning. I mean, haven’t you ever felt like there’s something missing? They want to come back home. We can save the world if we can just … If I can just remember my magic word … What? No, the world doesn’t have to be the way it is. We can be them.”"

I thought you should know. My work here is done.

How everyone in my generation isn't constantly high or stoned or drunk is beyond me.

We were plied with such as this. Watch, and weep.



Wednesday, June 13, 2007

THEY. ARE. JUST. WORDS.




Verily I say thusly onto you. Wisdom.

You Are So F--ing Obscene / The president says it, you say it, your kids say it all the time. So what's the f--ing problem?:
"A New York appeals court just told Bush's hard-line FCC that they are, in essence, a bunch of simpleminded out-of-touch dweebmonkeys and that the TV networks, while morally vacant in nearly every way imaginable, still cannot be held to such impossible standards when such juicy curse words are a common element of everyday speech, including that of President 'Stop This S--' Bush and Dick 'Go F-- Yourself' Cheney and just about every other being anywhere, with the possible exception of the ghost of my late grandmother.

'We are sympathetic to the networks' contention that the FCC's indecency test is undefined, indiscernible, inconsistent and consequently unconstitutionally vague,' Judge Rosemary Pooler wrote in a delicious smackdown, a decision that also called the FCC's obscenity rules 'divorced from reality,' a perfect kicker that promptly induced Kevin Martin to whine uncontrollably.

'It is the New York court, not the commission, that is divorced from reality,' he puled. 'Boogerbooger wabba, jerkface thhhbbbppptt!' he did not spittle, his face turning bright red as he hopped on his Big Wheel and pedaled away furiously.

Ahh, obscenity. Here is where you may want to jump in and play devil's advocate and argue that, while swearing may be delightful amounts of everyday fun, mature discourse doesn't actually require such language. And sure enough, you can go through your entire life and never utter a single curse word...

But maybe that's beside the point. Because as far as Bush's God-spanked FCC is concerned, it is, always and forever, all about protecting the children. Or rather, it is all about protecting some imaginary Christian Everychild, some sort of perfect hypersheltered dovelike organism made of spun glass and delicate bunny hearts and little golden crucifixes, a fragile, blessed thing whose happy, unblemished life had been completely free of blood or spit or pain right up until he overheard Bono say "f--" at the Golden Globes and his precious virgin heart shattered forever.


...This, then, is the real linguistic lesson kids need to learn. When it comes to a good curse, it's all about the placement, the timing, the precise usage. After all, "f--" is a delightful power word, one I wish I could actually employ in this very column every so often without those damnable dashes that protect, well, no one."

Pics via IMDB and www.angryflower.com

Jacksonville NC and Camp Lejeune in the news.




Everybody's gotta be from somewhere. This is my somewhere.

Poisoned on duty | Wilkes-Barre News | timesleader.com - The Times Leader:
"ATLANTA — Thousands of Marines and their families went to serve their country at North Carolina’s Camp Lejeune.

Instead, many wound up fighting it, blaming the government for failing to protect them from an enemy that invaded their lives in a most intimate way: through the water that quenched their thirst, cooked their food and filled their bathtubs every day.

The gruff ex-drill instructor is angry leukemia claimed his daughter, Janey. Parents were guilt-ridden that perhaps their own actions had ruined their daughters’ health. An aging major still mourns the wife who shared his torment over their baby’s fatal birth defects. A former Navy doctor’s career was demolished by his rare cancer.

Each used the water that poured from kitchen faucets and bathroom showers at Camp Lejeune, an environmental tragedy realized a generation ago that is drawing new scrutiny from members of Congress outraged over the government’s treatment of sick veterans at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and elsewhere.

U.S. health officials here in Atlanta hope to finish a long-awaited study by year’s end to examine whether the water tainted with solvents affected the health of children. It will influence the Pentagon’s response to at least 850 pending legal claims by people who lived at the Marine base, officials said. The former residents, who together seek nearly $4 billion, believe their families were afflicted by water containing industrial solvents before the Marines shut off the bad wells in the mid-1980s.

At least 120,000 people lived in family housing that may have been affected over three decades, plus uncounted civilian workers and Marines in barracks, Marine Corps figures indicate. Defense officials recently told U.S. health investigators that between 1975 and 1985 alone, nearly 200,000 Marines were stationed at Camp Lejeune.

...Health officials and lawmakers complain that the Defense Department has delayed disclosure of important documents during investigations into the health impact of water contaminated by a dry cleaner adjacent to Camp Lejeune and by the base’s past industrial activities.

“We wouldn’t be investigating this disgraceful situation if (the Department of Defense) had put half as much effort into cleaning up the water as it has into stonewalling those who drank it,” said Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. A subcommittee expects to conduct an oversight hearing today, the first in a broader review by Democrats investigating the Pentagon’s environmental record.

...Camp Lejeune’s population is believed the largest ever exposed to the solvents at such high levels. The Environmental Protection Agency is overseeing cleanups at more than 150 military installations polluted by the same chemicals. Drinking water usually was unaffected, but underground contamination migrated to surrounding neighborhoods and wells at some sites."

Images via Wikipedia, here and here.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

GaijinSmash brings the funny.

My favorites of many more observations, at the link. [Think Jack Handy. But a large black man. In Japan. And drunk.]

GaijinSmash.net:
"A lot of Japanese men seem to drink alcohol everyday. I asked them if they thought they might be alcoholic. They said they only drank to take away the constant misery and depression. Well, as long as they've set realistic goals for themselves, I see no problem.

I wonder how many geeks have built Gundams in their basement? Like, they're waiting for the day Godzilla shows up so they can hop in their Gundams and defend Tokyo. Boy, will those guys be surprised when the first wave of hedgehogs make their brutal strike.

I was riding on my bicycle one day when the police stopped me. Angry, I said, "You're only stopping me because I'm a Gaijin, aren't you!" At that point, my bicycle begged the police to help her, and then I had to run away."

Monday, June 11, 2007

Japan, you're getting a little creepy now.


Children's attendance to be checked with IC tags in 2015:
"(Kyodo) _ Elementary school student attendance will be taken at school gates with IC tags embedded in their nameplates, according to an education ministry projection Monday of life in 2015."

[Image from The Grudge 2]

Irrational fear of immigrants, overly militarized police... not just for America anymore!

That would be seven, count 'em seven, police in full on riot gear to handle the threat of one "illegal."


debito.org » Blog Archive » Ibaraki NPA on How to deal with NJ: Riot Police:
"STOP THEM AT THE SHORES, PROTECT [OUR COUNTRY].

PLEASE COOPERATE IN STOPPING ILLEGAL ALIENS AND THEIR ILLEGAL ENTRY.

CONTACT IBARAKI PREFECTURAL POLICE HQ"