Saturday, February 24, 2007

More gay conservative religious political hypocrites.

Crooks and Liars » Hate the Sin, But The Sinner is FABULOUS!:
"The attorney for a former Baptist church leader who had spoken out against homosexuality said Thursday that the minister has a constitutional right to solicit sex from an undercover policeman.

The Rev. Lonnie W. Latham had supported a resolution calling on gays and lesbians to reject their 'sinful, destructive lifestyle' before his Jan. 3, 2006, arrest outside the Habana Inn in Oklahoma City.

Authorities allege that Latham asked the undercover policeman to come up to his hotel for oral sex."

I dunno... I think it's kinda funny.

But all my xtian friends figure I'll be burning in hell for all time.

So there's that.

KRQE News 13 - Porn prank riles parishioners:
"Investigators in Santa Fe are trying to figure out who played sexually explicit audio recordings during an Ash Wednesday service.

It was an apparent prank few are finding funny."

Modern Mechanix continues to bring the cool.

Because giant crossbows that launch acrobats through the air 50ft? Very cool.


Modern Mechanix » BIG CROSSBOW HURLS MAN FIFTY FEET

Why life used to be cooler.



I don't think stewardesses in mod miniskirts were the key to everything, but I'm convinced they were an important part.

That and Dean Martin.

Lot's more very cool pics at the link.




Dark Roasted Blend: The Glamour of Flight:
"There was something in the air in the early years of commercial aviation. Perhaps more excitement, perhaps more glamorous stewardesses... in any case, it's worth savoring once again."

Race relations in Okinawa, Japan.

"The Palms" is the base club on Camp Hansen, lest you think Japan is now overrun with Haitians.

Overheard in the Office | I Guess I Did Mean to Sound Racist:
"White coworker: Hey, I don't mean to sound racist or anything, but are you Haitian?
Black coworker: Yeah, I am... But why is that racist?
White coworker: Because Haitians are dirty.

Outside Palms restaurant
Okinawa
Japan"

Japanese politico calls women 'rusted machines.'

You know, on the one hand, to get a Japanese politician to register an opinion without weeks of meetings and consensus building... that's kinda cool.

OTOH... well... pretty much a moron, yeah?

Japan Today - News - Assemblyman calls Fukushima, other women 'rusted machines':
"Kochi city assembly member Toshiyuki Shimazaki of the ruling Liberal Democratic Party called Social Democratic Party leader Mizuho Fukushima and other female politicians 'rusted machines' in relation to their criticism of the health minister's remarks likening women to child-bearing machines, the assemblyman said Friday."

Only in Japan - The Karaoke Disease



And no, Mrs. Snider, if you get a sore throat, it does not mean you have "karaoke polyp."

Love, your son Robert.

Karaoke songs bring a lump to the throat-Life & Style-Health-TimesOnline:
"...the world of karaoke has been stricken by a fearful epidemic that threatens to silence Japan’s bars and the caterwauling of millions of amateur vocalists.

Japanese doctors report a surge in the condition known as “karaoke polyp”, a growth on the vocal cords caused by excessive warbling in bars and parlours. Formerly an affliction of middle-aged businessmen, the malady has spread among housewives and young people because of the continuing popularity of karaoke.

Ear, nose and throat clinics report a doubling in cases of karaoke polyps and the operation necessary to remove them. A surge of popular songs of especially high pitch, which put excessive strain on the vocal cords, is being blamed for the polyp plague.

The condition is exacerbated by the cold, dry Japanese winter, also a time for traditional end-of-the-year parties that frequently end in enthusiastic karaoke."

Friday, February 23, 2007

Do not mug the senior citizens.

They will fuck you up.

Boing Boing: Senior citizen offs mugger with bare hands:
"A 70-year-old tourist in Costa Rica killed an armed mugger with his bare hands on Wednesday. Approximately a dozen US tourists on a cruise stopover were exploring a beach in Limon, Costa Rica when three robbers in masks approached them. One had a gun and the other two wielded knives. That's when the 70-year-old, a US military vet trained in self-defense, sprang to action."

"Zeroes"- the Heroes Parody Film

Pretty funny...

Heroes Zeroes - "Ordinary People with Ordinary Talents"

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I think you grow up tough if your dad's a writer.

Tougher if that writer is Warren Ellis. These are brilliant and funny. More at the link.

Things I May Have Said To My Daughter - Warren Ellis:
"Shut up or you and all your little friends are going to prison."

"I can have Santa Claus killed by old gangsters in Shoebury for less than your goddamn Barbies cost, so don't fuck with me."

"Go and tell your mother that you want to be a 'retroactive abortion'. Here, let me write it down for you."

"Ask your mother what 'fucker' means. Tell her I called her one too."

"No, you can't have a kitten. You know the fluffy gloves you wear in winter? They used to be kittens. We're not allowed to have them now."

"I can hide your body where no-one will find it. Do your fucking homework."

"I can sell you to chimney sweeps. They put you on the end of a stick and shove you up fireplaces. Well, do your fucking homework then."

(C) Warren Ellis 2004, 2007"

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

"I am shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on here" - Captain Renault [Claude Rains], Casablanca

Boing Boing: Justice audit shows data flaws for anti-terror cases:
"A Department of Justice data audit released today shows that federal prosecutors listed immigration violations, marriage fraud and drug trafficking as anti-terror cases in the four years after 9/11 -- despite the lack of evidence linking those activities to terrorism."

Irony, thy name is the TSA.

"Keeping America Safe! As soon as we un-fuck ourselves!"

Boing Boing: TSA site pwned by identity thieves:
"The TSA's website was hacked, seemingly by identity thieves who used the 'Click here if you're on a no-fly list' to harvest personal information. Lots of sites get pwned by hackers. Most of those sites aren't run by entities who claim that they're keeping the skies safe by taking away our toothpaste. Is it any wonder that an organization that thinks flip-flops are made safer by passing through the X-ray machine is incapable of managing to secure its own servers?"

You've gotta love that British sense of humor.

You know, the one that says "Fuck me, you're daft. Let me show you how much."


Boing Boing: Glorifying Terrorism - Brit sf writers break the law:
"Glorifying Terrorism is a new anthology of short stories by British SF authors in praise of 'terrorism' -- from Nelson Mandela on. The anthology, edited by Farah Mendelsohn, was inspired by a ridiculous British law that makes it a crime to 'glorify terrorism' in Britain -- an effort by Parliament to save the British democracy by destroying freedom of expression."

Internet quizzes are so rarely accurate, but this one nailed it.

Agnosticism first, Christianity - dead freakin'last. I even ranked higher on the Islamic scale than the xtian one. Boy, the Catholics did a number on me, huh?

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof).

Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.

agnosticism

79%

Paganism

63%

Hinduism

58%

Satanism

54%

Buddhism

46%

atheism

42%

Islam

38%

Judaism

33%

Christianity

29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Hey look, civil liberties in America.

What will they think of next?

Boing Boing: Court rules against police surveillance video in New York:
"In a rebuke of a surveillance practice greatly expanded by the New York Police Department after the Sept. 11 attacks, a federal judge ruled yesterday that the police must stop the routine videotaping of people at public gatherings unless there is an indication that unlawful activity may occur."

The Absurdist Theater of "Security."

Just for show. And not even an amusing show.

Fred On Everything:
"...For example, measures for security at airports are largely useless—if their purpose is to increase security. Think about it. Time and again the public-address system warns that vehicles left unattended in passenger-loading zones 'may be ticketed and towed.” Why? By the time anyone notices that the truck is unattended, by definition the driver will be somewhere else. He will certainly be able to walk a hundred yards before the tow-truck arrives—and push the button. Boom. In the case of a suicide bomber (which is what we are worried about, no?) it doesn’t matter anyway. Boom.

For that matter, at any airport you can drive up, load a hundred pounds of suitcases containing god knows what onto a baggage cart, and go into a crowded waiting area. Boom. You probably couldn’t get them onto an airplane. Why would you need to? Terroristically, killing two hundred people in the airport is as good as dropping an airliner.

Most of security is just theater...

No, I’m not giving ideas to terrorists. Everything in this column is obvious to anyone with a three-digit IQ.

...Are security measures going to keep terrorists out of the US? I just finished reading De Los Maras a Los Zetas, by a Mexican crime reporter. (I don’t think it is available in English.) He talks mostly about the drug trade, but mentions the smuggling of illegal immigrants. In particular he tells of a tunnel going under the border (estimating that at any one time about forty such tunnels are active) through which, he says, about 150 illegals a day passed. All it takes is $2000 or so any you are in the US. There is no border security, boys and girls. Not against anyone serious. There really isn’t.

On examination, most of the measures purportedly taken to stifle Terror don’t. Opening mail without a warrant? It’s pointless once the terrorists know you are doing it, but effective in intimidating honest citizens. The same is true of warrantless wiretaps and searches. Does the gutting of habeas corpus make us safer against terrorists? Or merely suppress dissent by citizens?

The whole business looks remarkably like malign vaudeville, like mummery intended to accomplish two things. The first is to persuade the foolish that the nation is At War. Actually only the president is at war. The second, and I would like to be wrong about this, is to train the public to obedience. The formula is simple: Keep’em scared and you can do anything. It works. Americans are rapidly becoming accustomed to Soviet-style surveillance, to the state’s power to search and spy without restraint, to being barked at and ordered about by low-level federal employees. People deserve what they tolerate."

I would very much like to own both of these.



And the Modern Mechanix blog, btw, is really awesome. "Yesterday’s tomorrow, today." Fascinating old articles and ads.

Modern Mechanix » The MOLBY Revolving Hammock: "The MOLBY Revolving Hammock (Mar, 1922)"



Modern Mechanix » Gym Junior: "Gym Junior (Dec, 1930)"

Relationship Advice from Superheroes.

Brilliant. More at the link.

Your Mom's Basement: Super Love:
"Your questions about love, sex, and relationships are answered by some of your favorite superheroes.

Dear Super Love,

I've always had a problem with premature ejaculation during intercourse. I've tried everything from desensitizing creams to masturbating a few hours before, but nothing seems to help. My girlfriend is patient, but I can't help feeling guilty and embarrassed. Help!

-Can't Control It


The Hulk Responds
:

RAR! Puny human too anxious! It important to have lengthy foreplay and communicate with lover before human play put-it-in game! All about talking, talking, talking! Stupid puny humans never talk to Hulk, always attack! Why attack Hulk? Hulk just want to be left alone!

Stupid two-pump chump must talk to girlfriend about fears and concerns! With love and understanding, soon you be comfortable enough to go for hours! HOURS! RAR!

Stupid premature ejaculation never happen to Hulk! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!

-----------

Dear Super Love,

My husband recently started acting... different. Missing dinners, keeping odd hours. I'm worried that he's having an affair. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Nervous in South Dakota


Hellboy, BPRD, Responds:

Nervous,

Sounds like you got a vampire there. Your best bet is to either set him on fire or cut off his head with a big sword. Might also be a doppelganger. Whomping him upside the head with an iron horse shoe should reveal the demon. Then, cut off its head with a big sword."

Quaint American Customs for the new Japanese Immigrant.

For new Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka...

Dice-K earns stripes: Team-building begins - Boston Red Sox - BostonHerald.com:
"See, you gotta make my bunk. See, we’re in Italy. The guy on the top bunk has gotta make the guy on the bottom’s bed all the time. It’s in the regulations. If we were in Germany, I would have to make yours. But we’re in Italy, so you’ve gotta make mine. It’s regulations.’- John Candy, as Dewey Oxburger, exploiting the ignorance of a fellow soldier in “Stripes”

Did you see him carrying my equipment bag? I told him its an American custom.’ - Jason Varitek, explaining why Daisuke Matsuzaka lugged the catchers equipment onto the field yesterday at spring training.

...Matsuzaka is on his way, it seems. After all, the ultimate goal is to forget that he is Japanese at all. That is why, with the help of interpreter Sachiyo Sekiguchi, Varitek informed Matsuzaka yesterday morning that the rookie had to carry the veteran catcher’s equipment. Through Sekiguchi, Varitek “made sure that (Matsuzaka) knew I was joking,” and so a smiling Matsuzaka happily played along.

In turn, Varitek carried the glove and spikes of his new batterymate onto the sun-baked practice fields."

Just a coincidence, I'm sure. Nothing to pay attention to.

AlterNet: 737 U.S. Military Bases = Global Empire:
"The total of America's military bases in other people's countries in 2005, according to official sources, was 737. Reflecting massive deployments to Iraq and the pursuit of President Bush's strategy of preemptive war, the trend line for numbers of overseas bases continues to go up.

Interestingly enough, the thirty-eight large and medium-sized American facilities spread around the globe in 2005 -- mostly air and naval bases for our bombers and fleets -- almost exactly equals Britain's thirty-six naval bases and army garrisons at its imperial zenith in 1898. The Roman Empire at its height in 117 AD required thirty-seven major bases to police its realm from Britannia to Egypt, from Hispania to Armenia. Perhaps the optimum number of major citadels and fortresses for an imperialist aspiring to dominate the world is somewhere between thirty-five and forty."

Monday, February 19, 2007

Glitch in the Matrix? Or the Secret of the Meaning of Life? Even odds, I think.

Friend of mine who shares my interests in the odd, the occult and the ever strange sent me an email earlier today that rambled on, in part -
"I actually did a lucid dreaming check where I tried to look around and rearrange letters, the room, change faces, etc just to see if I was in a dream and could become lucid... Surprise, it was for real.. what's the deal with that??"
I, of course, wrote back, inquiring exactly how high he was at the time.

Not four hours later, reading through a book I'm working on of late, I come across this:
"A good method for learning the art of lucid dreaming - waking up within a dream - is to ask yourself at random moments during the day: "Am I dreaming this?" Most of the time, after asking this question, you'll answer, "No, I'm not dreaming." But there may come a time, after you've formed the habit of asking this question, when you realize that you really are dreaming. You instantly become lucid - that is, awake - within the dream."
So.

You have to ask, how did he do that?

Or did I?

Or was it The Universe?

Or something else altogether?

Coincidence? Synchronicity? Schizophrenia?

Like Neo might say - "There is no spoon." Or "Whoah." Or something.

Either way... well done, yeah?

Iraq - The Hidden Story

"The story of what does not get reported in Iraq by the mainstream media."

49 minutes... worth watching.

You've really got to wonder, at what point exactly did it become the role of the news media to NOT report what actually occurs? How did it become the job of the media to shield us from reality?

"No one who would see what we see would ever, ever support a war again. So it's essential for governments that we shouldn't see these things." - Robert Fisk, War Correspondent

Maybe this is why Mrs Snider was always trying to make the girls drink milk?

[no audio]

Sunday, February 18, 2007

PostSecret

This first PostSecret took my breath away a bit. The second, of course, restored my faith in humanity.

As always, many more fascinating secrets at the link.


PostSecret:
"(PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.)"

Sandy says "Look Mom! I DO cook!"




Yes, mom, Sandy does cook.

[And then demands I post them on the web. Everybody who thinks Sandy needs her own blog/photo site, raise your hands... See, Sandy, look at all those hands.]

Children of Japan, 1941

Shows home, work and school activities of a middle-class Japanese family, circa 1941.

The basics are still pretty much the same today... except for the technology being radically different, that is. Not completely unlike living Tsuyazaki side of Fukutsu...

Very cool vid.

My friends are creative.

My buddy Ry, in Tokyo, with clearly too much time on his hands...

Lots of great photos at his site.. Niche Advertising on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Bit of advice.

The wit and wisdom of Ellis - Warren Ellis -:
"Dance like you're stamping on a human face forever, love like you've been in a serious car crash that minced the front of your brain, stab like no one can arrest you, and live like there's no such thing as God."