Monday, August 05, 2013

Today's Internets - Team Cargo Shorts.

"Until he was cast as the new Doctor this past weekend, Peter Capaldi was best known as the insanely profane Malcolm Tucker on the BBC's dark political comedy The Thick of It. It only took a day from someone to add the character's inspired obscenities to a Doctor Who trailer — and the results are gloriously NSFW."

""We may claim we’re simply holding them to a plain reading of the Bible, but that may be the biggest lie of all. The mere fact that there are 40,000 denominations on planet earth demonstrates that there’s no such thing as a plain reading of the Bible. Which means if we are going to continue to hold that our own theology is simply a plain reading of the Bible, then we have to admit that we think we’re the only ones that have anything figured out and those other 39,999 traditions are all wrong or just plain stupid." — What Happens When “False Teachers” Love Jesus Too? (via azspot)"

"The State Department treated Pfc. Bradley Manning's leaks to WikiLeaks as a "very, very serious crisis," an ambassador testified at Ft. Meade Monday, denying reports that he told Congress otherwise two years ago. The words attributed to him then: the cables were "embarrassing but not damaging.""

"...when she finally bought me a pair of cargo shorts from there, it was khaki-colored ballin’. Until this year. Until I got fucking sick of everyone staring at me and saying “Cargo shorts??” like I was dousing a homosexual with gasoline before their very eyes. OOOOOHHHH BECAUSE FASHION SAYS IT’S OUT. Fashion. You mean the fuckers who skin bears and haphazardly wrap it around anorexic women before drenching them in cyan paint. Yes. Let’s listen to those people. I like my cargo shorts. I LOVE MY CARGO SHORTS. Alright team six-inch inseam J. Crew shorts team. What happens when you need to smuggle a bowl and an eighth into a concert? Ever try to stash a piece in pockets which were designed not to use? It looks like your dick is growing out of your left thigh. Even if you do get it in, your cell phone, keys and wallet reek of resin. Team cargo shorts over here put his weed and his lighter and his bubbler into his cargo shorts cargo pocket and walked into the concert just fine. So fuck you. Logistically speaking."

"To me, it's laughable that we tell our professional athletes to do whatever it takes to win and are shocked SHOCKED they take PEDs. Give me a fucking break. Yeah, it's totally natural to drink protein processed from milk into powder form and take 5-hour-energy caffeine boosts 3 times a day, but god forbid someone takes some testosterone so they can hit the ball a little further. FUCKING CRIMINALS.

The real issue with steroids is the massive amount of misinformation that gets passed around because of them. Guys hop on the juice and then tell other people that "you just need to eat more protein!" Skin and bones Bro then buys himself a 10lb. bag of protein and hits the gym. One month later, he sees no real difference and gives up...

So, how do you tell if someone is on the juice? Well, acne, small balls, and a series of veins popping out of their forehead are good signs. However, steroids have gotten more advanced, so the signs are less obvious. There are some things that should make you initially suspicious: Veins fucking everywhere, including the "S" veins that double lap over themselves. Having massive amounts of muscle with little to no body fat. Guys who can achieve a massive body with under 6% body fat are in the 1% or less of the population. Squatting a Prius at the gym. Honestly, there's no real way to tell, but use your instincts. There's a big difference from, "wow, that guy is big" to "wow, that guy looks like he could literally bend a barbell like a paper clip."

"A secretive U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration unit is funneling information from intelligence intercepts, wiretaps, informants and a massive database of telephone records to authorities across the nation to help them launch criminal investigations of Americans. Although these cases rarely involve national security issues, documents reviewed by Reuters show that law enforcement agents have been directed to conceal how such investigations truly begin - not only from defense lawyers but also sometimes from prosecutors and judges."

"More information on the malicious software that infected Tor Browser through Freedom Hosting's servers, which were then seized by law-enforcement: it turns out that infected browsers called home to the NSA. Or, at least, to an IP block permanently assigned to the NSA."

Tor Browser Anonymity Compromised, Maybe by the Feds - Hit & Run : " over the weekend, discovery of some malware suggests user anonymity may be at risk, and the prime suspect is the federal government. Via Wired: Security researchers tonight are poring over a piece of malicious software that takes advantage of a Firefox security vulnerability to identify some users of the privacy-protecting Tor anonymity network. The malware showed up Sunday morning on multiple websites hosted by the anonymous hosting company Freedom Hosting. That would normally be considered a blatantly criminal “drive-by” hack attack, but nobody’s calling in the FBI this time. The FBI is the prime suspect."

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