"...However, I was hit over the head 11 times with an amber paperweight this morning. Then, seventeen minutes ago, I got my head trapped in a big plastic bag, and was not able to get any oxygen into my breath-hole for several minutes. And then I paid the mailman to give me a screwdriver lobotomy.
And so now I see things different and also clearer than before back then..."
It gets better [or worse] from there, depending on your perspective, of course. Personally, I think Patton Oswalt is one funny motherfucker.
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