See, if you smoke marijuana, you'll be lazy and never accomplish anything.*

Like say, defeating the #1 fighter in your weight class in your Pride Fighting debut.

Unless, of course, you actually do just that.

Breaking News: Diaz Tests Positive for Marijuana:

"Nick Diaz (Pictures) has tested positive for marijuana following his stunning submission win over Takanori Gomi on Feb. 24, Sherdog.com learned Monday afternoon."

*From "Drugs Make You Lazy and Other Lies Taught to me by the D.A.R.E. Program in the 1980's," my forthcoming book** from Harper Collins.

**Not a real book. I'm making this crap up as I go.

But as for D.A.R.E., that annoying tripe I was forced to sit through in high school, and whose bumper stickers still abound and haunt my nightmares, here some interesting info for you:

The U.S. Department of Education concluded in 2003 that the DARE program is ineffective and now prohibits its funds from being used to support it... Studies by Dr. Dennis Rosenbaum, and by the California Legislative Analyst's office found that DARE graduates were more likely than others to drink alcohol, smoke tobacco and use illegal drugs.

Administrators of the DARE program have tried to suppress unfavorable research by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Assistance and the Research Triangle Institute (RTI) that found that "DARE simply didn't work". A Federal judge ruled that DARE had sought to "suppress scientific research" critical of its program and had "attempted to silence researchers at the Research Triangle Institute," according to editors at the American Journal of Public Health and producers at Dateline NBC.

Shocking!!!