"You're right."

The Peaceful Warrior Quarterly, January 2006:

"People argue endlessly over the issues of gun control, abortion, religion, politics, sex education, crime, and drugs. Yet nothing seems to change. Do you have any suggestions how to bring people together?

Today, as in the ancient world, two polarized schools of thought fight for dominance: At one extreme we find the idealists, including many religious orders and political theorists. At the other extreme we find the realists, such as many mechanical engineers, police detectives, and successful politicians. With their fundamentally differing worldviews, idealists and realists propose divergent solutions to society’s problems.

If this world were populated only by realists, we would live in a pragmatic, outcome-oriented, cynical society, where the ends always justify the means—a society of efficiency and expediency, staring straight ahead, never looking up toward the heavens to glimpse our highest potential or possibilities. And if our world were populated only by idealists, society would collapse under the weight of one utopian experiment after another—well-intentioned but unworkable systems like Communism, which had to be imposed on an unwilling populace through authoritarian control, intimidation, and propaganda.

Idealism is what we strive for; realism is how we actually live. Both schools of thought have benefits and liabilities, and both are essential to the whole, balancing one another like day and night, sun and moon. Somehow, we have to bridge this gap—not by convincing one worldview to agree with the other, but through understanding, tolerance, and respect—finding common ground, so that those arguing across the fence over gun control, abortion, and drugs do not simply see one another as evil or crazy.

Within each of us is an idealist and a realist; we wish to do what is ideally best but end up settling for the best we can do right now. We are real people striving toward our ideals.

The following anecdote expresses one way to bridge the approaches of realist and idealist: While walking through a marketplace, a wise man came upon an excited crowd circling two men who were arguing passionately. Shaking their fists and yelling their opposing views, they were about to exchange blows when the sage happened upon them and asked one of the combatants to tell his side of the story. After hearing one side, the sage pronounced, “You are right.” Immediately, the other adversary demanded his right to be heard. So the sage listened, and concluded, “You’re right.”

“But they can’t both be right,” observed a bystander.

“You’re right,” said the sage before continuing on his way."