Attention

Our world contains both beauty and ugliness, kindness and cruelty. The question is, where shall we fix our attention?

...If we view the world through the filter of our ideals, it will never measure up. Consider the influence of expectations on perception in the following anecdote: “A farmer was missing an ax from his tool shed. He suspected his neighbor’s young son. The boy looked like a thief, acted like a thief, and spoke like a thief. When the man eventually found his misplaced ax, his neighbor’s son looked, acted, and spoke like any other young boy.”

The fact that shadows exist, in the world and in ourselves, should not blind us to the light.

...There’s a story about a cancer-ridden football player who lay in a hospital bed, managing a smile as his coach entered the room and asked how he was doing. “Okay, I guess,” the player replied. But his sunken eyes told a different story.

After a long pause, the coach leaned close to the player’s face. “Listen, Mike. I need you at training camp in July, on the field, ready to go. We’re going all the way this year.”

Mike Westhoff, now recovered from bone cancer, is the special teams coach for the Miami Dolphins. He says of Coach Don Shula: “He treated me the way I could be, not the way I was. It made a difference.”

Hardship is part of life—but whether we view it as tragic or heroic, grotesque or purposeful, depends on our perspective. Our mind can make meaning or madness, light a candle or curse the darkness. The choice is ours. We can’t heal the world’s suffering—only our own. Accept life on its own terms. If we want a kinder world, then let us behave with kindness; if we want a peaceful world, let us make peace within. Our suffering serves no one. By letting go of our expectations, we liberate our lives.

- Dan Millman