"If your first instinct was to set up a mental balance sheet... You don’t know shit about relationships of any kind."

JudgyBitch: "Babies are time sucking assholes who need their mamas fulltime for YEARS, and in order for a woman to do a good job raising her offspring (and no, hiring an illegal immigrant to raise your child is NOT doing a good job), she needs a man...

During our 18 months at grad school, I continued to do his laundry.  I learned what he liked for breakfast and had a tray ready for him every morning.  I fetched him hot food when he was tied up in long meetings, got him coffee when he looked tired and rubbed his back after eight hours of lectures in a chair designed for someone six inches shorter.  I folded his laundry, made his bed and listened to his frustrations. What did he do for me?  It doesn’t matter.  The answer is:  LOTS!  But we’re not talking about quid pro quo here.

If your first instinct was to set up a mental balance sheet and make sure all of YOUR thoughtful actions are being returned in EXACT PROPORTION to your outlay, you might as well give up now.  You don’t know shit about men, or relationships of any kind. As our relationship progressed, I made sure that Mr. JudgyBitch knew I had a deep care taking instinct.  At the beginning of our relationship, we lived in student housing and went to a cafeteria every day.  In actual fact, I CAN cook.  I’m a terrific cook, but he didn’t know that until we had been married for over a year (we lived in China for our first year and ate out pretty much every meal).  What he DID know was that I cared about what he ate.  I cared if he was hungry.  I would not hesitate to trudge across campus in rainy, shitty weather to bring him a hot dinner. 

And he loved me for it.  Sucks, doesn’t it?  Food, clean clothes, tidy room, sex and a shoulder to lean on.  Yep, it’s really that simple. That’s how you compete with sluts.  Be a wife.  Be a woman.  Look at the man, and care about him deeply.  Don’t create a scorecard.  Don’t keep tally about who brought coffee to whom.  Let the balance swing in his favour dramatically. What will you get in return?  Oh, just a husband.  A man who loves you completely.  Loyalty, protection, honesty, reliability, dependability.  A rock who will weather any storm for you.  Who lives for you.  As long as you live for him."