On the End of the World - Joe Rogan guestblogging at GQ = Awesome.

Guest Bloggery: Joe Rogan On How We Will All Die: The Q: GQ:

"...my usual daily routine of getting online, reading one fucked up, bummer of a news story after the next, watching a few videos of UFO sightings, animal attacks, various loons predicting the apocalypse, and then of course ultimately... internet porn.

I usually turn to the porn when the reality of impending doom starts to really freak me the fuck out and I need a "release" as it were. Nothing takes the edge off the end of the world like the latest Lucy Thai clip on Youporn.

DOOM!

It's everywhere you look online; from the collapse of the dollar, to terrorism, to the reports of thousands of earth quakes occurring in Yellowstone National Park threatening to ignite the 600 kilometer wide super- volcano that erupts every 600,000 to 800,000 years and kills almost everything on the continent.

...Everywhere you look it's asteroids, and paranoids, and BAD AIDS. Just as a social engineering tool the internet porn is an incredibly important factor in keeping people docile. People argue that porn creates violence, but I usually think it's because unlike me, they've probably never run into someone desperately searching for something to jerk off too. You don't want to see that, trust me.

The biggest and most popular meme of doom online without a doubt is the end of the world date of December 21st, 2012. There are thousands of websites dedicated to it, as well as hundreds of books, and even one really retarded blockbuster movie...

In case you're one of those folks out there with "a life", the 2012 end of the world date is based on the end of the Mayan calendar. It's the end of the long count, and the beginning of a new age. What the Mayans actually meant by all that is mostly guesswork, but many have interpreted it to mean the end of humanity and possibly the end of the earth itself.

Like most doom and gloom subjects, the people that subscribe to the most terrifying scenarios are usually the ones most positive that they're correct. When you question why they believe this, they will invariably point out that the Mayans were and advanced civilization and that their Calendar was so accurate that it predicted eclipses a thousand years in the future. To which I usually say, "Guess what, we can do that too, and we're fucking retarded." We can't even predict the future of American Idol, and we can do a fuck load more than those stone age dummies could...

The Mayans regularly practiced human sacrifice and worshiped a snake with feathers that made the universe and flew here from another planet. When archeologists discovered their temples they had been abandoned for centuries. Some of the most amazing structures humans have ever created, and there was no one living in them. The Ancient Mayans were pretty cool, but they certainly weren't perfect.

...For all we know what these scholars are deciphering might just be 2,000 years ago's version of scientology."