texts from last night Roundup - "(256): I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed."

texts from last night: "(651): accomplished twins. life is a go"

texts from last night: "(305): false alarm. still invincible."

texts from last night: "(412): You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night."

texts from last night: "(425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie."

texts from last night: "(424): Do u kno any dealers?
(1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad."

texts from last night: "(916): I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn"

texts from last night: "(207): in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask"

texts from last night: "(331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open."

texts from last night: "(214): She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love"

texts from last night: "(910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table..."

texts from last night: "(617): my clit piercing makes the metal detector go of"

texts from last night: "(832): I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets."

texts from last night: "(610): There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet"

texts from last night: "(904): When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied 'I never learned how to spit'"

texts from last night: "(502): Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes."

texts from last night: "(832): why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time"