Thursday, August 07, 2008

Speaking of shopping with wives [and other women folk...]

In the aftermath of the shopping marathon in Thailand [in which the weekend market was a small part] I come across this bit of comedic wisdom.

[...and I too detest the floppy, baggy, shapeless and formless "fashion."]

GaijinSmash.net | The Devil IS Prada:
"...When I speak of sucky fashion, I mean the type of fashion that looks a lot like the girl got into a fight with a Salvation Army...and lost. Like she's suddenly been thrown out of her house and had to resort to wearing everything she has in her closet. Or when she woke up this morning, she found that her entire fashion collection had been replaced by a crate of burlap sacks. Big, loose, baggy, layered, balloony, clothes. I believe Maddox called them 'Tit Curtains'.*

...Sometimes we have discussions/arguments over it, and she's always quick to point out the fashion magazines that tell women that this look is "hip" "trendy" and "in the now." ...As if I needed more proof that fashion magazines are written and compiled by Lucifer himself. And besides ladies, why are you listening to other women for fashion advice? Granted, I may be male and have all the fashion savvy of a slightly-aged turnip...but I know what I like. And I don't like seeing women in tents and draperies and what not. And ultimately ladies, who do you want to impress? Other women, whose cattiness and jealousy levels are profound, and if they so much as perceive you to be better in any way shape of form than you they will proceed to systematically tear you down until there's nothing left but an empty shell of what you used to be?* (I know the truth, I've seen a few episodes of Melrose Place)...

*Y'know, come to think of it, its entirely possible that women realize that these fashions are ugly, and recommend them to make other women ugly. And women willingly accept these fashions and know that it makes them not as attractive in order to not incur the wrath of the Female Collective. Perhaps the layered style and potato sacks are women's form of camouflage. ...Goddamn I'm glad I was born male.

...You know what the best part is though? When we spend HOURS in a store, and she leaves eventually having bought...nothing. Nothing! "I couldn't find anything I liked." And it took you HOURS to figure that out? How in the name of sweet Betty Rubble does that happen? This shit doesn't fly for anything else, does it?

...Women will call this "fun". I call it a "complete waste of time." How do you enter a place where things are sold, look at items that are for sale...and then NOT buy anything?! I can already hear some women complaining at me now - "You say that, but then how can guys go to strip clubs and look at naked women performing sexual acts and then NOT have sex with them?" My answer to this is simple - put out more. We go to strip clubs because we are hungry, and while we may not be able to eat the steak the least we can do is look at it and imagine how delicious it is..."

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