My favorite JET journal brings more funny

Outpost Nine :: Editorials :: I Am a Japanese School Teacher:

"Live here [in Japan - Rob] long enough, and not only do you get desensitized to the madness, you find it starts enveloping you. The process is slow/gradual enough to the point where you don't even notice it.

...Here are some disturbing thoughts of mine I've catalogued lately...

-- Reading porn on the trains is perfectly acceptible. And it's not at all weird for the newspapers to have a porn insert. ...Because sometimes, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

-- A boy trying to grab my penis or stick his fingers up my ass is merely in his glorious Springtime of Youth. I can still remember my Springtime of Youth...sitting on my friend's laps, grabbing at each other's penises. What wonderful days.

-- Women are cute little creatures who should always wear skirts, 4 pounds of makeup (hey Morpheus, gimme that blue pill!) and rear my children. Sometimes, they get upset, but that's okay, it's cute. If you wanna pacify them though, buy them something expensive. Louis Vitton for the win.

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-- The atomic bomb was truly a tragic event in human history. And the Japanese are very pitiable to have been the only country to have been a-bombed. Every American should visit Hiroshima at least once to truly appreciate the horror. ...What? Pearl Harbor? Axis Powers? Attrocities in China and Korea? ...I have no idea what you're talking about.

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-- You're not a man unless you drink and smoke. Everyday. Many times a day. If you do one without the other, you're still a pussy.

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-- Could there be anything more entertaining than watching celebrities eat on TV? Look how succulent and juicy the food is! Watch as their faces shine as the deliciousness causes them to shout out "oishii/umai!" ...Ah, the joys of living vicariously."