Carlin/Hicks 2012.

Truth.

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an ego."

Mark Morford: How to end it once and for all | Full Page:

"...Here is my dedicated and powerful yoga student. She is also going through a massive transition, a real dark night of the soul, questioning everything she thought she knew and exploding nearly all of it, as she lets her former identity slough away like rusted armor. It's a complete spiritual/career/perspective overhaul of who she is and what she wants to do in this life, which all sounds wonderful and healthy and positive, were it not for the headaches and the sleepless nights and the screaming.

As we say in the deeper yoga practice: it's all fun and games until someone loses an ego.

...something in her ego kept her nailed to the emotional floor, stuck like a pinned bug, her body endlessly sick and heart endlessly drained, always looking backwards, re-living stale memories, staring at photos of a life she built but never fully lived in.

You know that feeling? Or something very similar? Oh, I bet you do.

But recently, a shift. A wink of possibility, some forward momentum after far too many years of immobility, ill health and inertia. Someone swept into her life allowing for a fresh blast of why the hell not, of let's get this thing moving. I'm not exactly sure she quite sees it that way, but I sure do.

Here is the question: Is it possible? Are my friends ready? Or will their egos and stories, past patterns and melodramas trap them in an ever-recurring web of lies and bulls--t and suffering? Will yours? Will mine? On a day to day basis, is this not the only real question worth asking?

...Do we stay addicted to our patterns and our former selves, or do we harness the difficult opportunities when we see them, when the chance for change swims into view, knowing they won't wait around for long, knowing, deep down, that if we ignore them the energy will stagnate and congeal into fear and fat, misery and fundamentalist Republican Christianity, never to have hot sex again? There is one thing we know.

There is one thing shared across all traditions and religions, spiritualities and yoga paths, status quos and opportunities for change.

It is ritual. The marker. The sign of movement. You get baptized. You get the bat mitzvah. You perform the hardcore tribal thing with the face paint and the fire and the lions. You drop the hallucinogens and wander for 30 days in the jungle, communing with the specters of the gods. Hey, whatever works.

...Offer something to your gods. Tear up that old iPhoto library. Go on a cleanse. Wander oceanside, write yourself a mantra, repeat it 108 times, then tear it up and toss it to the waves, into the fire, into the compost pile. Swipe your hand across your heart, your crotch, your eyes, anywhere energy cords attach and suck the goddamn life force out of you. Purge. Cleanse. Burn. Ignite anew. What, too hippie? Too New Agey? I don't mind. Neither will your gods."

Terence McKenna speaks wise.

"Life is... a game, a gamble, a multiple-choice Intelligence Test."

RAWIllumination.net: The Compleat Skeptic by RAW:

"Hume pointed out that all we can know (directly) is a stream of sensations. Even the hypothesis that there is a block-like entity, the Ego or "me," observing or experiencing this stream of sensations, is inferential, not directly known. Every philosopher since Hume has tried to refute this, not very successfully, because it happens to be true... Yes: this is truth: the stream of sensations is all that is given directly. All else is inference. But is this all of the truth? Does skepticism lead directly to solipsism? Not quite. There is an old Zen story which is worth recalling at this point in our argument. A monk, after long meditation, perceived the facts noted above. In great excitement, he rushed to tell his roshi (Zen teacher), "I have it! I have it! That rock there is inside my head!" "You must have a very big head," said the Teacher, "to hold a rock that size."

...all we know directly is a stream of sensations. The theories that there is an "ego" experiencing this stream, and an "outside" world provoking it, are inferential, unproven and (if we are strict about applying Occam's principle of parsimony) should be rejected as illegitimate.

...Zen teachers, when they recognize that a student has arrived at this womb-like solipsistic stage, hit him, with a wooden staff, hard, on the right shoulder, which sends most striking sensations to damned near every nerve in the body.

After such Shock Therapy, one does not return to the naive objectivity of the ordinary fool or the Randroid. One realizes that there is some sort of Self (although everything one has learned about it is probably false) and some sort of Objective Reality (although everything one has learned about it is also probably false.)

One realizes that life is not a tragedy (as pessimists claim) or a comedy (as optimists assert) or a kind of Moral police court (as theologians would have it) but rather more in the nature of a game, a gamble, a multiple-choice Intelligence Test."

May. Morocco. Misadventures.

3 cities [Rabat, Fes & Casablanca] in 7 days.  More pics here.

Religion Roundup.

North Carolina Dumfuckery.

Ask me again if I miss living in the States.

Training.

5/10&11 - P90X 32&33 [missed wkouts]

5/9 - P90X 31 rest/off

5/8 - P90X 30 Chest, Shoulders, Tris

5/7 - P90X 29 Back & Biceps, Abs

5/6 - P90X 28 rest/off

5/5 - P90X 27 substituted X Stretch for Yoga X

5/4 - P90X 26 Core Synergistics

5/3 - P90X 25 X Stretch

5/2 - P90X 24 Kenpo X - 60m grappling/jiu jitsu

Cooking/Food Log.

Starting with the usual and then...  vacation in Morocco.

4/30 - coffee, protein shake x2, egg & cheese omelette, water
5/1 - coffee, protein shake, water, chicken, beer, coffee w/milk & sugar x2
5/2 - coffee w/milk & sugar x3, paleokit, brownie, water, quesadilla, Sprite
5/3 - water, jerky, tajine, cafe au lait, coke zero, chocolate, scotch
5/4 - water, Coke Zero, chocolate, olives, guacamole, steak, cauliflower, mixed veggies, beer, rum &Coke
5/5 - Coke Zero, western omelette, cafe creme w/sugar, pigeon pie, salad, bread, near beer, Berber coffee, beer, salad, bread, beef skewers, banana, strawberries, coffee w/sugar
5/6 - bread & butter, coffee w/sugar, mint tea & candy, soup, salad, bread, tajine, dessert, cafe creme, chocolate pastry, Coke Zero, chocolate, pizza, beer, stromboli
5/7 - coffee w/sugar & milk, water, pizza, beer, stromboli, chocolate, Coke Zero, McDonald's burgers & fries, scotch
5/8 - coffee w/sugar & milk x2, coconut water x3, chocolate, Coke Zero, chocolate pastry, chicken, burrito, beer, fajitas, quesadilla
5/9 - coffee w/milk & sugar, bread & butter, burger, fries, beer, chocolate ice cream, chicken, potatoes, bread, butter

Training.

5/1 - new PR chinups 25, pullups 22.  Dead hang, no kipping.  There was a *little* bit of body English on the last rep of each attempt, but we're still counting 'em.  New goal for mid-July = 30/25 - P90X 23 Core Synergistics

4/30 - P90X 22 Yoga X - PruFit 3 metabolic rounds [run/pushup/mountain climbers, run/boat/situps, run/suicides/wall squat]

Motivating six pack.

Reading - February through April.

Last three months - 12 books & some comics... 

Culture Shock!  Thailand - A Guide to Customs and Etiquette by Robert & Nanthapa Cooper.  Starting to get spun up on the wife's next post.  Comprehensive, if somewhat dated [looks like it's out of print these days.]  A good primer on the basics of understanding Thai culture.  

Mr. America: How Muscular Millionaire Bernarr Macfadden Transformed the Nation Through Sex, Salad, and the Ultimate Starvation Diet by Mark Adams.  Pretty fascinating look at one of the first health and fitness gurus in American history.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy.  Mixed feelings on this one.  Which goes to show, as normal, I'm not wired as most everyone on the planet who has read and loved this book.  I found it alternating between very powerful and evocative transposed with repetitive and meandering.  Also, I don't think I handle father/son stuff particularly well these days.

Superheroes and Philosophy: Truth, Justice and the Socratic Way [Popular Culture and Philosophy Series] by Various.  Like any collection of essays, hit and miss.  Fun geek reading, though.

A Feast Unknown by Jose Philip Farmer.  A classic homage/satire to the pulp novels of the 20th century, featuring facsimile renditions of Tarzan and Doc Savage.  Filled with violence, intrigue and just a touch of the crazy.

THE EYE OF REVELATION: The Ancient Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation by Peter Kelder (Author), J. W. Watt (Editor.)  Part real life Shangri La tale, part exercise routine.  Bonus points for not only reprinting the classic original text, but delving into the possible real life history behind it.

Still Life with Crows (Pendergast, Book 4) by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child.  The Pendergast novels are always diverting, fun reads.  Featuring a psuedo-Sherlock Holmes in Agent Pendergast, good thriller/mystery.  More character than plot, but worth reading during an afternoon at the pool or the beach.  If you like your beach reading to feature gruesome murders, that is.

Confession of a Buddhist Atheist by Stephen Batchelor.  Awesome account of one man's travel through the world of Buddhism and the meaning of it all.  Excerpts below.  Highly recommended if you've the slightest inclination to this kind of thing.

The Devil We Know: Dealing with the New Iranian Superpower by Robert Baer.  Baer is former CIA, the guy who served as the inspiration for the George Clooney character in Syriana.  Here he wades through the polemics, propaganda and misunderstandings of Iran to present a dispassionate and well rounded set of ideas for the US, and the world, to embrace in dealing with Iran.  Really good book.  Excerpts below.

God, No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales by Penn Jillette.  A hilarious, insightful, fun and smart book by the more verbose half of the Penn & Teller team.  Enjoyed it immensely, laughed a bunch, while at the same time appreciating its thought provoking qualities.

Last Words: A Memoir by George Carlin and Tony Hendra.  George Carlin, for me, from the mid-80s until his death a few years ago, was hands-down one of the best stand up comedians who ever plied his craft.  His ideas, verbal dexterity, wizardry of concepts, all couched in anti-authority, no-bullshit, 'let me make you think about things in ways you never have'... just genius.  Great book.  Excerpts below.

Tapped Out: Rear Naked Chokes, the Octagon, and the Last Emperor: An Odyssey in Mixed Martial Arts by Matthew Polly.  I read Polly's book American Shaolin a few years ago and dug it.  Funny, interesting, well crafted writing.  When I found out he'd be writing a book about his adventures in MMA, training for a bout with the Couture camp out in Vegas, as an out of shape/approaching 40 year old, I knew I'd pick it up.  Again, another great book for Polly.  Well written, funny, engaging, entertaining.  Liked it a lot.

Comics

Secret Six: The Darkest House by Gail Simone and J. Calafiore.  The final volume of DC Comics best anti-heroes.  One of my favorite comic series of the last decade.

Warren Ellis' Strange Killings: Necromancer.  The continuing adventures of the deadliest combat magician in the SAS.

SVK - Classic Warren Ellis writing with a clever hook.  Worth checking out.

"SVK is a collaboration between writer Warren Ellis, artist Matt "D'Israeli" Brooker and London-based design studio BERG.  An experimental publication, SVK comprises the SVK object and a comic book.  Comics break the rules of storytelling, invent new ones, and break them again – more often than almost any other medium. This graphic novella is about looking – an investigation into perception, storytelling and optical experimentation that inherits some of the curiosities behind the previous work of BERG...First and foremost SVK is a modern detective story, one that Ellis describes as “Franz Kafka’s Bourne Identity”.  It’s a story about cities, technology and surveillance, mixed with human themes of the power, corruption and lies that lurk in the data-smog of our near-future."

Pull quotes & excerpts from "The Devil We Know," "Last Words" & "Confession of a Buddhist Atheist" after the "Read More" break/jump below.  Worth reading.  If only for all the typing I did.

Hookah Time.

"So do you ever think about things... and stuff?"

Cooking/Food Log.

4/23 - coffee w/Splenda &amp milk x2, chicken dog w/chs, tuna & mayo, water, V8, protein shake, multi, bacon, tuna & mayo
4/24 - black tea w/honey, mint tea, water, chicken dogs w/chs & mayo, water, chicken breast, bacon, steak
4/25 - black tea w/honey, steak, eggs, more steak [because I'm awesome], protein shake, water, peanut butter, mint tea
4/26 - coffee w/Splenda & milk, peanut butter, bacon, black tea w/honey, coconut flour egg & turkey bacon muffin, coconut flour bread, mint tea
4/27 - coffee w/Splenda, protein shake, water, mint tea, chicken, beer & shots
4/28 - cocoa, protein shake, water, quesadilla, cookies, Dr Pop, Diet Coke x3, candy, pizza, chips, guacamole
4/29 - coffee, protein shake, chicken w/mayo & wasabi, Diet Coke x2, water, candy, cookies, milk

For the Mrs.

Training.

4/29 - P90X 21 X Stretch - Rodney Yee Beginner Yoga Routine

4/28 - MMA/thai pad kicking drills, tire flips, run - P90X 20 missed wkout [Kenpo X]

4/27 - P90X 19 Legs & Back - 60m grappling/jiu jitsu

4/26 - P90X 18 Tony Horton Fountain of Youth Yoga [substitute for Yoga X]

A sign of good parenting.

This - "No, I do not respect your religious beliefs..."

"You cannot have too high an opinion of yourself because the world will always strive to correct you."

via Ask Eric: Maynard G. Krebs: "You cannot have too high an opinion of yourself because the world will always strive to correct you. The only thing most people hate more than success is self-confidence-a warning signal that you might be a success soon. This is not what they teach you in Sunday School, but it happens to be true: at any evidence that you might be a success, the envious will do every-thing in their power to destroy you. Therefore, there is no chance at all that a high self-esteem will go unchallenged; it will be challenged on all sides, daily. On the other hand, if you have a low opinion of yourself, nobody will ever correct it. You will have it for life unless you correct it yourself... 

Rabbi Hillel put it all in a nutshell 2000 years ago: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?""

Training.

4/25 - MMA boxing/focus pads, clinch game, sandbag ab work, pullups x2 - P90X 17 Shoulders & Arms

4/24 - P90X 16 Plyometrics - 60m grappling/jiu jitsu

4/23 - P90X 15 Chest & Back - PruFit, 5 rounds db swings, thruster, pullups, abs

4/22 - rest/off

53 years old.  Tony Horton's a bad dude.

Joe Rogan & Graham Hancock on the hidden history of humanity.

Joe Rogan sits down with researcher & author Graham Hancock to talk about lost civilizations, cosmic catastrophes, consciousness, the Ark of the Covenant, ayahuasca, & more.  Very awesome.

MP3 Link Here.

Peter Levenda and the Secret Space Program.

Strap in bitches, the rabbit hole goes all the way down -- Nazi occult beliefs, UFOs, Operation Paperclip, Roswell, the X-Files [the real ones], the American Orthodox Catholic Church, the Kennedy Assassination, spies, NASA, Jack Parsons, L. Ron Hubbard... and more.  I recommend settling in with 90m of your free time and your favorite adult beverage.