Bio:
"Hello! Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior has delivered you to my site. Now let his spirit fill you and watch me answering questions about Republican policy at home or abroad. I hope my patriotism will show you that the best Christians are always from a gated community. I am grateful for my years as a civil servant because I’m now leveraging it in the private sector and the money is pouring in.
As CEO of Ohio Petroleum and Synthetics, I guided the stock to an all-time high before I left. It wasn’t easy to leave, but based on the advice of my wife, my children and the FBI, I knew it was time to go. When my golden parachute landed, I had quadrupled the share price*.
Do I regret secretly dumping in the Ohio river? No sir. May I remind you there was a drought and I was merely “contributing” in an attempt to raise water levels, and didn’t want to call attention to my patriotism. Jesus wouldn’t have. This act of charity was spun by the liberal media and the hysterical mothers of some very, very, slightly deformed children."
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