These are pretty funny.
All 100 at the link.
[I've courteously selected the ones I've done/agree with.]
100 Reasons Why You've Lived in Japan Too Long:
"You've Been In Japan Too Long When...
...you rush onto an escalator, and just stand there.
...you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
...you think US$17 isn't such a bad price for a new paperback.
...you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
...when you are talking on the telephone to your parents and your father says, "Why are you interrupting my explanation with grunts?"
...you see a gaijin get on the train and think "Wow, it's a gaijin!"
...you start thinking can coffee tastes good.
...you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like 'building'.
...you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
...you think the opposite of red is white.
...you get blasted by a political speaker truck and think "sho ga nai.."
...you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
...you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand- shaking.
...when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.
...you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
...you think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?".
...you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.
[It makes sense, people. Guys hit puberty surrounded by these uniforms. Of course they're a fetish. - Rob.]
...you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: "Hurry up! 10 cars now in quick succession, and then we'll think about slowing down."
...when you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken.
...you think curry rice is food.
...when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
...when having gaijin around you is a source of stress.
. ..when getting ready for a trip you automatically calculate for omiyage and you leave just the right amount of space in your suitcase for them.
..."natsukashii" comes out of your mouth instead of "what you're saying makes me so nostalgic that I must look like one of those wide- eyed manga characters with a tear rolling out of my eye."
...you buy a Christmas cake on Christmas eve.
...when you accompany your "no" by the famous waving hand-in- front-of-nose.
...you use the "slasher hand" and continuous bowing to make your way through a crowd.
...you put eleven 10 yen coins in the vending machine before you notice it's sold out."
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