They died for your sins. Your internet sins.

Comic book writer Warren Ellis opens new message board. Chaos ensues. From his Bad Signal mailing list [cracked me up]:

bad signal
WARREN ELLIS

10.59am -- I open the Engine to readers of Bad Signal.

11.02 -- Comics writer Andy Diggle posts a message. That
proves to be the last message posted on the Engine. Many,
many people will blame Diggle for what is to follow. And who
is to say they shouldn't?

11.25 -- Email fills with reports that the Engine has engine trouble.

12.30pm -- I return home. The Engine is not responding. I ignore it and eat lunch.

1.30 -- The Engine is still not responding. I ignore it and start work.

2.30 -- The Engine is still not responding. I start reloading the page once every couple of minutes.

2.42 -- I have slow access to the Engine. The log states that the rush has reduced to one new visitor every twelve seconds or so.

2.44 -- I have no access.

2.51 -- I send Melinda and Jessica in to try and reach the Admin menu of the forum software. I need to take the load off the server so Billy can get into the Secret Codey 10101110101 Bits and look at the deep settings.

3.06 -- No word from Melinda or Jessica. I am growing worried. They didn't take any food or water in with them, after all.

3.10 -- Melinda makes it to Admin. I instruct her to set the forum to "restricted." No word from Jessica.

3.11 -- Jessica is probably dead.

3.14 -- Jessica is definitely dead. No word from Melinda.

3.15 -- I get the log-on screen.

3.16 -- Nothing happens. And Melinda may be dead. Darren's going to fucking kill me.

3.20 -- Jessica is alive and in admin. Melinda is alive and has attempted to lock the forum. If Melinda fails, I have to send Jessica in. The awful, senseless waste of human life tortures me as I eat some more fruit.

3.21 -- I note out of the corner of my eye that LiveJournal's gone down. Is that my fault too?

3.28 -- Melinda reports restricted status on. Jessica is definitely dead this time.

3.30 -- No change. A vein bursts, somewhere deep in my brain.

3.33 -- Restricted status seems to have gone on. Visitors increase to an estimated one every six fucking seconds.

3.35 -- I get into Admin myself, stepping over Jessica's body.

3.37 -- I am attempting to close the Engine entirely. I may not survive the attempt. Remember me. Just, you know, not the farting and the snoring. You can forget that.

3.39 -- I think I just ruptured something. No, really.

3.40 -- I go for a piss. While I'm doing that, Melinda dies.

3.42 -- The front end of the Engine should be sealed off. I don't know, because people are still hitting it and it's not loading...

3.46 -- I purge all records of Melinda and Jessica from my email and go out for a cigarette. Let it be known that they died for Comics and The Internet. When I have their bodies burned in a garbage can in a remote location, I will do it with love and appreciation for their sacrifice.