Why does anybody - AT ALL - care about the British royalty?

Why is the "royal pregnancy" fucking news?  I swear to god.

Via Doug Stanhope:  "Everyone thinks you must be a big fucking group of simpletons living out some Dungeons and Dragons fantasy land bullshit with kings and princes.  Do you have wizards and fairies too?  Fire breathing dragons?  We still live with this stone age - bow down - to this renaissance festival...  They're a superior bloodline to you?  You bootlicking fucking supplicants.  Are you joking?"