You know Santa Claus was a magic mushroom, right?

Well, not technically. As 'magic mushrooms' are psilocybin, whereas what we're talking about here is the history of the shamanic and psychedelic usage of the mushroom Amanita Muscaria. Sure explains 'flying' reindeer and why Santa always has the munchies. And why he's so jolly and sees little elves all over the place.

Wild Birds Unlimited: When did Reindeer Learn to Fly?:

"Also ancient hymns written between 1500 - 500 BCE talk about the reindeer that could fly after eating magic mushrooms. Amanita muscaria, commonly known as the fly agaric is a red fungus with white dots that has always been a popular icon for the Midwinter and Christmas festivities in central Europe. The Amanita muscaria mushrooms grow only under certain types of trees, mostly firs and evergreens.

The semi-nomadic ancient peoples, including the Lapps of modern-day Finland, and the Koyak tribes of the central Russian steppes considered the reindeer sacred. Local tradition talks about how shaman wearing a red and white fur-trimmed coats and long black boots gathered the red and white mushrooms in a bag and then came down the smokehole in the top of the yurt. He passed out the mushrooms for the people to string up in front of the fire to dry. Then the people used the mushrooms to draw the reindeer near. Under the influence, the reindeer would prance and fly around until they became exhausted..."

And The psychedelic secrets of Santa Claus | Cannabis Culture Magazine:

"Although most people see Christmas as a Christian holiday, most of the symbols and icons we associate with Christmas celebrations are actually derived from the shamanistic traditions of the tribal peoples of pre-Christian Northern Europe.

The sacred mushroom of these people was the red and white amanita muscaria mushroom, also known as "fly agaric." These mushrooms are now commonly seen in books of fairy tales, and are usually associated with magic and fairies. This is because they contain potent hallucinogenic compounds, and were used by ancient peoples for insight and transcendental experiences.

...Reindeer were the sacred animals of these semi-nomadic people, as the reindeer provided food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. Reindeer are also fond of eating the amanita mushrooms; they will seek them out, then prance about while under their influence. Often the urine of tripped-out reindeer would be consumed for its psychedelic effects.'"

But leave it to Joe Rogan to best sum up - Santa Claus was a mushroom. « The Joe Rogan Experience:

"Santa Claus is bright red and white. The amanita muscaria is also bright red and white.

Santa Claus lives in the North Pole, and he has flying reindeer pulling his sleigh through the air.

Reindeer are native to Siberia, and the shamanic use of this mushroom in Siberia is well documented. Now, I know Siberia isn’t the North Pole exactly, but it’s pretty close, and the earth’s magnetic pole is actually shifting away from North America and towards Siberia.

Also, the animal most connected with the amanita muscaria mushroom is the reindeer. It’s their favorite food, and although I’ve never talked to a reindeer, I’ve got to think eating that shit all day must get them high as FUCK.

Like, “flying” high.

Christmas trees are pine trees.

Pine trees are the trees that the amanita muscaria grows under...

Their shiny red and white caps blooming under the tree looks very much like the tradition of placing shiny wrapped boxes under there.

When people would pick the mushrooms they would place them on the leaves of the tree to dry them in the sun.

That would look an awful lot like when people decorate their trees with shiny ornaments.

People place red and white socks over the fireplace.

OK, first off, why red and white socks? Because again, that’s the color of the mushroom. And why do they hang it in front of the fireplace? Because that was another one of their techniques to dry the mushrooms out for storage.

Santa doesn’t come in through the front door, he hops down through the chimney, on the sneak tip, with a fat bag of goodies.

Well, when Shamanic rituals were forbidden by the rulers of the day, (which they ALWAYS eventually were, because rulers throughout history have realized over and over again that the use of psychedelic substances by their people only serves to make it more difficult to feed them bullshit, and keep them scared and stupid) the rituals didn’t immediately stop, they continued in secret, like secretly sneaking into the house through the roof with a fat bag of ‘shrooms.

Santa lived in a magical place where he was surrounded by elves.

Sounds like a tripper to me..."