Logic!

Sadly, this is logic not unknown to me.

Overheard in New York | And You'll Be Sober-- Is That What You Want?:

"Girl #1, dressed in St. Patty's gear: Slow down!
Girl #2, similarly attired, jogging ahead: No! The faster we go, the faster I metabolize what I just drank.

--58th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Not drunk yet, but Irish"