More Doug Stanhope.

Hilarious.

"The Geneva Convention - isn't it sick we have rules for war? Guys sat down at one point and said - "We're gonna kill each other by hundreds of thousands, not ourselves, just poor peoples' children... Let's make some rules and keep it civilized! 'What about mace?' 'No, that's chemical weapons... that's fighting like a fairy!
Doug Stanhope - The war




"Religion - if you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seat belt? ...I feel sorry for you because you don't have Jesus in your life... I feel sorry for you because you're 45 years old and still have a boogie man under the bed."


Having been in the military, this next bit is not entirely untrue...