Training 274/P90X 43.

And I'm back.

Apparently, I can't be taught though... more on that later.

274/43 - Chest, Shoulders & Triceps, 1.5L water, 1 meal.

Passed on the Ab Ripper X, cause I was kind of nauseous and light headed at the end of the rest of it.

So, after a week off... I swear I'm going to figure out soon, since I haven't yet, despite "realizing" it on two separate occasions, including this time... but time off/away from working out just doesn't cut it.

Threw myself into tonight, probably too much, hence the nausea, but until then, while working out, that's the best I've felt since the last time I worked out about 9 days ago.

I took last week off thinking I'd take a mental health break and it'd bring me back up to speed, but if anything it made my lethargy and and crappy feeling-ness [totally a word] worse. It's amazing how quick old, bad habits will come back.

Figured it out today though. It's all about "state change," to paraphrase the Tony Robbins/NLP set. Quick and dirty, an emotional state change just means however it is you make yourself feel better. Behavior is to either avoid pain, or gain pleasure, because a large portion of our psyche is simple and mammalian. Almost all our behaviors are done to improve our state, our emotional satisfaction. To make ourselves feel better.

And when you work out, at least when I do, it's all about state change. You get the endorphins and adrenaline dumping into your pleasure centers, you get the "pump" if you're racking weights, you get that intellectual and emotional satisfaction of checking the box off on your list of things to do and following through... In short, PT makes me feel gooood.

And last week, not working out made me feel like crap. And without knowing it, I missed all those good feelings that came with PT. It's almost like it was a kind of addictive withdrawal. And in not feeling quite right, and looking to fill that gap and plug that hole with something, I turned to the standard, easiest, rapid and most instantaneous state-changers - food and alcohol. Tweak that brain chemistry and get that sugar rush. And the thing is those ways to alter your state are extremely short duration, and result in a crash after so you feel worse than when you started.

Obvious in hindsight. And now that I comprehend, maybe it'll help me avoid it next time.