"Monk stole porno films."

Of course he did. But only because of the Church's healthy views on human sexuality. Because repression and celibacy are what Jesus wants.

Monk stole porno films - Scotsman.com News:

"A MONK has been arrested for stealing dozens of blue movies from a sex shop. Brother Niklaus, 49, of the Benedictine order Maria Laach, pilfered nearly 40 raunchy videos, which he stored in his cell at the abbey in Germany.

Police were called after a sex-shop assistant saw him stuffing films up his habit in the town of Wuerzburg some 150 miles away, where he was often sent on church business.

He was chased through the town and tried to ditch a haul of four films – among them such classics as Nuns in Heat and Ladyboys do Bangkok – in a wastepaper bin."