God has a lot of Class 1 Felonies to account for...

The blindingly obvious.

Reason Magazine - Hit & Run > Give Up the Toad Now:

"This just in from the Associated Press:

'Law enforcement authorities have discovered that people are willing to go to great lengths to get high.'

If that's a recent discovery, it explains a lot about drug policy in America.

..."There are a lot of things that are created naturally but they are still not legal," he said.

Evidently God committed some serious felonies when he created all those psychoactive plants and animals. Manufacturing with intent to distribute on such a massive scale probably would trigger a life sentence even for Him."