The Joe Rogan defense of Paris Hilton.

Hell, somebody had to.

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The Joe Rogan Blog » Conduit to the Gaian Mind » In defense of Paris Hilton

I’ve only been upset at Paris Hilton once in my life, and it was pretty brief.

I was watching her little home porno video, and right in the middle of giving this young man a blowjob she actually stopped to answer her cell phone.

How RUDE!

I got over it though, and I’ve never had a problem with her since. Hey, it wasn’t me she was being rude to, so what the fuck do I care?

...What’s the deal?

I understand that seeing her everywhere can be annoying, and that she’s got no discernable talent, and all that good shit… but I really don’t understand all the hate.

The day she got out of jail a friend of mine who is normally very rational and intelligent was actually angry. Really fucking pissed.

“Why the fuck should she get out of jail early? She gets home confinement in her fucking mansion? I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit!”

Meanwhile, across the world horrific drama goes on every minute of the day and gets relatively little attention. Bombs drop, and IED’s explode, people die…

Cool, fun loving people that will be sorely missed by their loved ones vanish from the earth every day, but on the news it’s marginalized to a number.

“13 US soldiers lost their lives in battle this weekend, making this one of the deadliest months on record.” Reduced to a number. A 1 in 13. A part of Monday’s update on the weekend’s action for those that went fishing and want to keep up on the count.

But Paris Hilton is BREAKING fucking news.

...This is what we care about most while we’re in the middle of this crazy modern day holy war?

I’ve actually heard a conservative talk show host say that if the media concentrated on each and every death and went into detail about it people would lose their taste for the war. He went on to say that the American people, especially the young just don’t understand the sacrifice it takes to keep this great land free.

Speaking of freedom… justice has been served, and it’s back to the slammer for Paris Hilton!

What… the… fuck.

They make fun of this young girl that they don’t even know with glee in their voice.
It’s the ultimate opportunity for people to be a hater. Everyone’s hating, come on in and join the fun!

...“She makes me sick because she’s a fucking attention whore, and she’s talentless.” Isn’t being that itself punishment alone? Why do you think that you keep hearing about these nutty Hollywood kids having breakdowns, and going to rehab?

It’s certainly not because they’re super duper happy. That existence itself is probably punishment alone.

The emptiness of it all, the hole that can never be filled… just living life day after day struggling to stay on the top of a big fucked up, fake mountain.
It probably does suck, but most importantly, why does it bother YOU?

I just really don’t understand it.

...Is it just that some people need to get angry at something, and that she’s just an easy mark? That sort of makes sense.

Maybe instead of encouraging people to be less angry, which certainly has never worked before, maybe we should just help focus all their anger and help them to choose some more worthy targets?

You have a need to be pissed off? You wanna really get outraged? How about this crazy bitch that shot her fucking preacher husband in the back in his sleep with a shotgun, and only got sentenced to 210 days in the pokey.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/06/08/winkler.sentence.ap/index.html

She’s already been locked up for 5 months, so they’re saying that she may only get 60 more days in a mental hospital because of time served.

Well, that should be just about enough to cure her, right? I mean, she only shot her fucking husband in the back with a shotgun while he was sleeping. No biggie.
60 days should be plenty to cure her of that.

She said in her defense that her husband was abusive, and that he pressured her to wear a wig and large platform shoes during sex.

Well, good thing she shot him in his sleep! That motherfucker was getting out of hand!

A wig AND platform heels? Who the fuck does he think he is, David Lee Roth?

Haliburton was in the news for overcharging taxpayers something like 90 billion dollars and no one bats an eye. My same friend that freaked out about Paris Hilton heard about it on the news and didn’t even react.

The whistle blower in the Enron scam shot himself in the head, TWICE in what was ruled a “suicide,” and no one flinches.

...Every day sons, brothers, and friends come home dead in boxes from a fucked up war in a foreign land, and the only people that freak out are the ones that know them.
It’s gotten so bad that the media are actually forbidden from taking pictures of the flag draped coffins as they’re being shipped stateside, but the cameras never stop taking pictures of the crying little rich girl in the back of the police car.

And please, don’t get me wrong… I’m not immune to the fascination. I watch it like all the other little monkeys...

Hilton photo via.