Your Mom's Basement: Super Love:
"Your questions about love, sex, and relationships are answered by some of your favorite superheroes.
Dear Super Love,
I've always had a problem with premature ejaculation during intercourse. I've tried everything from desensitizing creams to masturbating a few hours before, but nothing seems to help. My girlfriend is patient, but I can't help feeling guilty and embarrassed. Help!
-Can't Control It
The Hulk Responds:
RAR! Puny human too anxious! It important to have lengthy foreplay and communicate with lover before human play put-it-in game! All about talking, talking, talking! Stupid puny humans never talk to Hulk, always attack! Why attack Hulk? Hulk just want to be left alone!
Stupid two-pump chump must talk to girlfriend about fears and concerns! With love and understanding, soon you be comfortable enough to go for hours! HOURS! RAR!
Stupid premature ejaculation never happen to Hulk! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!
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Dear Super Love,
My husband recently started acting... different. Missing dinners, keeping odd hours. I'm worried that he's having an affair. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Nervous in South Dakota
Hellboy, BPRD, Responds:
Nervous,
Sounds like you got a vampire there. Your best bet is to either set him on fire or cut off his head with a big sword. Might also be a doppelganger. Whomping him upside the head with an iron horse shoe should reveal the demon. Then, cut off its head with a big sword."
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