"The first time I saw a Baby GAP in a mall, I remember thinking it ridiculous that there were actually parents concerned that the ten-pound skinpile cream-shitting itself in their cradle wasn't wearing trendy enough pants.
Years later, of course, I can spot the Achilles' Heel of my criticism, which is that The GAP is in any way trendy. What I probably should have realized at the time was that the Baby GAP didn't signify a sharper focus on the part of our nation's parents as to how cutting edge their baby's fashions were, but rather the final transitional phase of The GAP from upper-end clothing store to cheap, mass-produced crap warehouse."
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