Friday, November 18, 2005

Mr. T Fact: Top Thirty Mr. T Facts

Random Mr. T Fact: Top Thirty Mr. T Facts:
"Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.

During one of his frequent time-traveling adventures, Mr. T was accosted by a horde of frenzied Olde Englishmen who believed he was "Mr. Tea" and that he was going to supply them with all the tea and crumpets they could possibly desire. With a single blow, Mr. T knocked the entire mob unconscious. To this day, English people still have gnarly-ass teeth.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.

Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr T loves you.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode."

No comments:

Post a Comment